Wasted Days Wasted Nites

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONNA

2012-01-15T06:57:00.000-06:00

FRIDAY THE 13TH

2012-01-13T10:01:00.002-06:00

Friday the 13th, just the facts madam:
'The most widespread superstition'
The sixth day of the week and the number 13 both have foreboding reputations said to date from ancient times. It seems their inevitable conjunction from one to three times a year (there will be three such occurrences in 2012) portends more misfortune than some credulous minds can bear. According to some sources it's the most widespread superstition in the United States today. Some people refuse to go to work on Friday the 13th; some won't eat in restaurants; many wouldn't think of setting a wedding on the date.
How many Americans at the beginning of the 21st century suffer from this condition? According to Dr. Donald Dossey, a psychotherapist specializing in the treatment of phobias (and coiner of the term paraskevidekatriaphobia, also spelled paraskavedekatriaphobia), the figure may be as high as 21 million. If he's right, no fewer than eight percent of Americans remain in the grips of a very old superstition.
Exactly how old is difficult to say, because determining the origins of superstitions is an inexact science, at best. In fact, it's mostly guesswork.

Legend has it: If 13 people sit down to dinner together, one will die within the year. The Turks so disliked the number 13 that it was practically expunged from their vocabulary (Brewer, 1894). Many cities do not have a 13th Street or a 13th Avenue. Many buildings don't have a 13th floor. If you have 13 letters in your name, you will have the devil's luck (Jack the Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, Theodore Bundy and Albert De Salvo all have 13 letters in their names). There are 13 witches in a coven.
The Devil's Dozen

Although no one can say for sure when and why human beings first associated the number 13 with misfortune, the superstition is assumed to be quite old, and there exist any number of theories — most of which deserve to be treated with a healthy skepticism, please note — purporting to trace its origins to antiquity and beyond.
It has been proposed, for example, that fears surrounding the number 13 are as ancient as the act of counting. Primitive man had only his 10 fingers and two feet to represent units, this explanation goes, so he could count no higher than 12. What lay beyond that — 13 — was an impenetrable mystery to our prehistoric forebears, hence an object of superstition.
Which has an edifying ring to it, but one is left wondering: did primitive man not have toes?

Life and death
Despite whatever terrors the numerical unknown held for their hunter-gatherer ancestors, ancient civilizations weren't unanimous in their dread of 13. The Chinese regarded the number as lucky, some commentators note, as did the Egyptians in the time of the pharaohs.
To the ancient Egyptians, we're told, life was a quest for spiritual ascension which unfolded in stages — twelve in this life and a thirteenth beyond, thought to be the eternal afterlife. The number 13 therefore symbolized death, not in terms of dust and decay but as a glorious and desirable transformation. Though Egyptian civilization perished, the symbolism conferred on the number 13 by its priesthood survived, we may speculate, only to be corrupted by subsequent cultures who came to associate 13 with a fear of death instead of a reverence for the afterlife.

Anathema
Still other sources speculate that the number 13 may have been purposely vilified by the founders of patriarchal religions in the early days of western civilization because it represented femininity. Thirteen had been revered in prehistoric goddess-worshiping cultures, we are told, because it corresponded to the number of lunar (menstrual) cycles in a year (13 x 28 = 364 days). The "Earth Mother of Laussel," for example — a 27,000-year-old carving found near the Lascaux caves in France often cited as an icon of matriarchal spirituality — depicts a female figure holding a crescent-shaped horn bearing 13 notches. As the solar calendar triumphed over the lunar with the rise of male-dominated civilization, it is surmised, so did the "perfect" number 12 over the "imperfect" number 13, thereafter considered anathema.
On the other hand, one of the earliest concrete taboos associated with the number 13 — a taboo still observed by some superstitious folks today, apparently — is said to have originated in the East with the Hindus, who believed, for reasons I haven't been able to ascertain, that it is always unlucky for 13 people to gather in one place — say, at dinner. Interestingly enough, precisely the same superstition has been attributed to the ancient Vikings (though I have also been told, for what it's worth, that this and the accompanying mythographical explanation of it are apocryphal). That story has been laid down as follows:

And Loki makes thirteen
Twelve gods were invited to a banquet at Valhalla. Loki, the Evil One, god of mischief, had been left off the guest list but crashed the party, bringing the total number of attendees to 13. True to character, Loki raised hell by inciting Hod, the blind god of winter, to attack Balder the Good, who was a favorite of the gods. Hod took a spear of mistletoe offered by Loki and obediently hurled it at Balder, killing him instantly. All Valhalla grieved. And although one might take the moral of this story to be "Beware of uninvited guests bearing mistletoe," the Norse themselves apparently concluded that 13 people at a dinner party is just plain bad luck.
As if to prove the point, the Bible tells us there were exactly 13 present at the Last Supper. One of the dinner guests — er, disciples — betrayed Jesus Christ, setting the stage for the Crucifixion.
Did I mention the Crucifixion took place on a Friday?

Bad Friday

Some say Friday's bad reputation goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden. It was on a Friday, supposedly, that Eve tempted Adam with the forbidden fruit. Adam bit, as we all learned in Sunday School, and they were both ejected from Paradise. Tradition also holds that the Great Flood began on a Friday; God tongue-tied the builders of the Tower of Babel on a Friday; the Temple of Solomon was destroyed on a Friday; and, of course, Friday was the day of the week on which Christ was crucified. It is therefore a day of penance for Christians.
In pagan Rome, Friday was execution day (later Hangman's Day in Britain), but in other pre-Christian cultures it was the sabbath, a day of worship, so those who indulged in secular or self-interested activities on that day could not expect to receive blessings from the gods — which may explain the lingering taboo on embarking on journeys or starting important projects on Fridays.
To complicate matters, these pagan associations were not lost on the early Church, which went to great lengths to suppress them. If Friday was a holy day for heathens, the Church fathers felt, it must not be so for Christians — thus it became known in the Middle Ages as the "Witches' Sabbath," and thereby hangs another tale.

The witch-goddess
The name "Friday" was derived from a Norse deity worshipped on the sixth day, known either as Frigg (goddess of marriage and fertility), or Freya (goddess of sex and fertility), or both, the two figures having become intertwined in the handing down of myths over time (the etymology of "Friday" has been given both ways). Frigg/Freya corresponded to Venus, the goddess of love of the Romans, who named the sixth day of the week in her honor "dies Veneris."
Friday was actually considered quite lucky by pre-Christian Teutonic peoples, we are told — especially as a day to get married — because of its traditional association with love and fertility. All that changed when Christianity came along. The goddess of the sixth day — most likely Freya in this context, given that the cat was her sacred animal — was recast in post-pagan folklore as a witch, and her day became associated with evil doings.
Various legends developed in that vein, but one is of particular interest: As the story goes, the witches of the north used to observe their sabbath by gathering in a cemetery in the dark of the moon. On one such occasion the Friday goddess, Freya herself, came down from her sanctuary in the mountaintops and appeared before the group, who numbered only 12 at the time, and gave them one of her cats, after which the witches' coven — and, by "tradition," every properly-formed coven since — comprised exactly 13.

The unanswered question
The astute reader will have observed that while we have thus far insinuated any number of intriguing connections between events, practices and beliefs attributed to ancient cultures and the superstitious fear of Fridays and the number 13, we have yet to happen upon an explanation of how, why, or when these separate strands of folklore converged — if that is indeed what happened — to mark Friday the 13th as the unluckiest day of all.
There's a very simple reason for that: nobody really knows, and few concrete explanations have been proposed.

'A day so infamous'
One theory, recently offered up as historical fact in the novel The Da Vinci Code, holds that the stigma came about not as the result of a convergence, but because of a catastrophe, a single historical event that happened nearly 700 years ago. That event was the decimation of the Knights Templar, the legendary order of "warrior monks" formed during the Christian Crusades to combat Islam. Renowned as a fighting force for 200 years, by the 1300s the order had grown so pervasive and powerful it was perceived as a political threat by kings and popes alike and brought down by a church-state conspiracy, as recounted by Katharine Kurtz in Tales of the Knights Templar (Warner Books, 1995):

On October 13, 1307, a day so infamous that Friday the 13th would become a synonym for ill fortune, officers of King Philip IV of France carried out mass arrests in a well-coordinated dawn raid that left several thousand Templars — knights, sergeants, priests, and serving brethren — in chains, charged with heresy, blasphemy, various obscenities, and homosexual practices. None of these charges was ever proven, even in France — and the Order was found innocent elsewhere — but in the seven years following the arrests, hundreds of Templars suffered excruciating tortures intended to force "confessions," and more than a hundred died under torture or were executed by burning at the stake.

There are problems with the "day so infamous" thesis, not the least of which is that it attributes enormous cultural significance to a relatively obscure historical event. Even more problematic for this or any other theory positing premodern origins for a superstitious dread of Friday the 13th is the fact that no one has been able to document the existence of such a superstition prior to the late 19th century. If folks in earlier times perceived Friday the 13th as a day of special misfortune, no evidence has been found to prove it. Some scholars are now convinced the stigma is a thoroughly modern phenomenon exacerbated by 20th-century media hype.

A mere accrual of bad omens?
Going back more than a hundred years, Friday the 13th doesn't even merit a mention in the 1898 edition of E. Cobham Brewer's voluminous Dictionary of Phrase and Fable, though one does find entries for "Friday, an Unlucky Day" and "Thirteen Unlucky." When the date of ill fate finally does make an appearance in later editions of the text, it is without extravagant claims as to the superstition's historicity or longevity. The very brevity of the entry is instructive: "Friday the Thirteenth: A particularly unlucky Friday. See Thirteen" — implying that the extra dollop of misfortune might be accounted for in terms of a simple accrual, as it were, of bad omens:

UNLUCKY FRIDAY + UNLUCKY 13 = UNLUCKIER FRIDAY

If that's the case, we are guilty of perpetuating a misnomer by labeling Friday the 13th "the unluckiest day of all," a designation perhaps better reserved for, say, a Friday the 13th on which one breaks a mirror, walks under a ladder, spills the salt, and spies a black cat crossing one's path — a day, if there ever was one, best spent in the safety of one's own home with doors locked, shutters closed, and fingers crossed.

Postscript: A novel theory
In 13: The Story of the World's Most Popular Superstition (Avalon, 2004), author Nathaniel Lachenmeyer argues that the commingling of "unlucky Friday" and "unlucky 13" took place in the pages of a specific literary work, a novel published in 1907 titled — what else? — Friday, the Thirteenth. The book, all but forgotten now, concerned dirty dealings in the stock market and sold quite well in its day. Both the titular phrase and the phobic premise behind it — namely that superstitious people regard Friday the 13th as a supremely unlucky day — were instantly adopted and popularized by the press.
It seems unlikely that the novelist, Thomas W. Lawson, literally invented that premise himself — he treats it within the story, in fact, as a notion that already existed in the public consciousness — but he most certainly lent it gravitas and set it on a path to becoming the most widespread superstition in modern times.

STOLEN FACEBOOK POST

2012-01-11T19:34:00.000-06:00

Borrowed from my sister Tina's Facebook post:

When you’re plus size woman, people like to say "yeah, she's cute in the face", as if being full figured is such a disgrace. Honey, I’m cute in the face, and I’m thick in the waist. I look good whether I’m in cotton, leather, or lace. I’m beautiful, vibrant and above all, smart! And there's more to me than my weight, I also have a heart. Yes my clothes maybe a bigger size, that just means you have... access to a bigger prize. We all are not self-conscious about our weight, and we never have a problem getting a date. So don’t think your small frame gives you more pull, I’m a hot, sexy, curvy woman with a figure that's full. :) repost if your a curvy girl and proud too

GAME NIGHT

2012-01-06T23:30:00.001-06:00

Drennon and I spent the evening at Donna's house playing games with the combined grandsons. First we played Quelf which is best described as insanity in a box! With this hilariously silly party game, you move around the game board, as one of eight quirky characters, crazy things start to happen. Your friends start talking strangely. Your mom's face is wrapped in toilet paper. Your dad is acting like Dracula. And you are reciting a poem about your armpits. Anything can & does happen and you can't help but laugh until you can't catch your breath.

Next we played Bezzerwizzer, a new twist on trivia with over 5000 questions and 20 categories of questions plus stealing and tile swapping for fast-paced game play. Bezzerwizzer is a new kind of trivia game that relies on strategy as much as knowing all the answers from categories such as Food & Drink, Film, the Business World and so on. Just make your way around the board before your opponents steal your points or your categories. It'll make even the smartest person scratch their heads because the questions cover things that you only thought you knew.

We had a blast and us old farts even won a round or two showing the young'uns that they're not near as smart as they think they are. Who said that you have to spend a ton of money to have fun? Break out the board games or cards and play with your kids, they'll have fun and maybe even put the cell phones down for a minute or tow.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

2011-12-31T19:42:00.000-06:00

It’s time once again for the annual swearing of the New Year’s resolution - that time honored tradition where we solemnly make all kinds of wonderful pledges to both ourselves & our loved ones. But all the good intentions and big plans mean naught because deep down in our pudgy little cholesterol laden hearts we know that we’ll never follow through on any them. Those extra 10, 20, (hell admit it) 50 pounds aren’t going anywhere any time soon and even the thought of giving up smoking has you fumbling in your pocket for a light like a drowning man grabbing for a life preserver.

Big business is well aware of all this. January is the prime month of the year for gym memberships while sales of athletic wear and home fitness equipment are higher than at Christmas. Health food stores tout the latest cure all and TV informational push the latest diet/patch/pill that makes the fat melt away and somehow magically makes you look 15 years in the process. Who knew that losing weight would make your gray hair, wrinkles & eye baggage go away?

Get real people. If you DID lose all that weight you’d look like a Shar -Pei with all that excess skin drooping down - although you could save on underwear because that floppy skin apron where your gut used to be is going’a hang down & hide your punanny /pecker from view. Which won’t be an issue because you KNOW that you are not gonna give up Big Macs & Snickers and the only time you’ll lace up your Nike’s will be to go buy goodies at the store.

Loose skin, jingly butt cheeks, drooping jowls, chicken wing upper arms. Wait I’ve got all those already! Damn it all, I’m gonna have to do it, make a resolution and count on y’all to keep me honest.

RESOLUTIONS:

1. Get Healthy

2.....

'Heck, one is enough for me',

NEW TEMPLATE

2011-12-30T15:45:00.000-06:00

I've been trying to work with the new Blogger templates, and I'm having trouble doing everything that I want. At least I got the new header going. Now if I can just widen the printed area & do away with all that open space on the sides!

RELEASE AND RENEW! RITUALS TO ENTER THE NEW YEAR

2011-12-30T07:10:00.000-06:00

Snagged from I don't remember where.

"Each New Year millions of people make resolutions to do things differently. Because cultures from around the world understand that the New Year is an opportunity to spiritually turn the wheel of the year and begin anew this is the perfect time to look at areas that need adjustment.

Take the time to do rituals of purification and closure to prepare for a new vision to manifest. As we move into the year 2005, more than ever, it is crucial to take the time to acknowledge our experiences with joy and grief. We must strive to bring balance and harmony into our lives so we can imbue the coming year with the qualities that we most desire."

Spend the day on December 31st by taking some time to be quiet and reflect on the year that is drawing to a close. Think about the people that mattered most to you, your greatest accomplishment, challenging difficulties and the lessons you learned.

Take a purification bath. Scrub yourself with sea salt and wash yourself thoroughly in the water. Feel free to anoint yourself with your favorite oil or perfume.

Contemplate the patterns in your life that keep you stuck. Write down the limiting beliefs or habits that you wish to leave behind with the old year. In a fireproof bowl or fireplace, safely burn the paper. As the paper burns, be aware that you have just made space for new ideas people, and opportunities to enter your life. Carefully, throw out the ashes when they cool. Light a candle for those who have passed on to spirit.

Light a candle for your new potential in the coming year.
Light a candle to acknowledge the earth.
Contribute to your community by planting a tree, helping a homeless family or baking cookies for your local nursing home.
Dance, sing and celebrate life!!
Forgive, forgive, forgive- end the old year by opening your heart to yourself and others.

Holiday Sage and Smudge Tips

These ideas are not new-fangled nor are they airy-fairy New Age waffle. Native American tradition dates back millennia and most traditional cultures, from the Zulus to the Maoris, from the Chinese to the Balinese, have age-old forms of cleansing and blessing ritual

The burning of herbs or incense is a practice held sacred by many indigenous cultures. It is a ritual for cleansing, purifying and protecting the physical and spiritual bodies. The effect of the smoke is to banish negative energies.

Many differing cultures and peoples have their own methods and herbal mixtures for this purpose. Smudging, done correctly, can bring physical, spiritual and emotional balance.
The term Smudging originated in the Native American culture. Native American Indians use a variety of smudging mixtures. In olden times, the end of the smudge stick or braid was lit from the central or cooking fire.

Not everyone views the practice of smudging in the same way and different herbs may be used for different purposes. Smudging is the burning of certain herbs to create a cleansing smoke bath, which is used to purify people, homes, ceremonial and ritual space, and ceremonial tools and objects.There are different ceremonies and rituals that can be done.

Hogmanay (Scotland)
The birthplace of "Auld Lang Syne" is also the home of Hogmanay (hog-mah-NAY), the rousing Scottish New Year's celebration (the origins of the name are obscure). One of the traditions is "first-footing." Shortly after midnight on New Year's eve, neighbors pay visits to each other and impart New Year's wishes. Traditionally, First foots used to bring along a gift of coal for the fire, or shortbread. It is considered especially lucky if a tall, dark, and handsome man is the first to enter your house after the new year is rung in. The Edinburgh Hogmanay celebration is the largest in the country, and consists of an all-night street party (visit their Hagmanay website here).
Oshogatsu (Japan)
The new year is the most important holiday in Japan, and is a symbol of renewal. In December, various Bonenkai or "forget-the-year parties" are held to bid farewell to the problems and concerns of the past year and prepare for a new beginning. Misunderstandings and grudges are forgiven and houses are scrubbed. At midnight on Dec. 31, Buddhist temples strike their gongs 108 times, in a effort to expel 108 types of human weakness. New Year's day itself is a day of joy and no work is to be done. Children receive otoshidamas, small gifts with money inside. Sending New Year's cards is a popular tradition—if postmarked by a certain date, the Japanese post office guarantees delivery of all New Year's cards on Jan.1.
Spain
The Spanish ritual on New Year's eve is to eat twelve grapes at midnight. The tradition is meant to secure twelve happy months in the coming year.
The Netherlands
The Dutch burn bonfires of Christmas trees on the street and launch fireworks. The fires are meant to purge the old and welcome the new.
Greece
In Greece, New Year's day is also the Festival of St. Basil, one of the founders of the Greek Orthodox Church. One of the traditional foods served is Vassilopitta, or St Basil's cake. A silver or gold coin is baked inside the cake. Whoever finds the coin in their piece of cake will be especially lucky during the coming year.
United States
Probably the most famous tradition in the United States is the dropping of the New Year ball in Times Square, New York City, at 11:59 P.M. Thousands gather to watch the ball make its one-minute descent, arriving exactly at midnight. The tradition first began in 1907. The original ball was made of iron and wood; the current ball is made of Waterford Crystal, weighs 1,070 pounds, and is six feet in diameter.
A traditional southern New Year's dish is Hoppin' John—black eyed peas and ham hocks. An old saying goes, "Eat peas on New Year's day to have plenty of everything the rest of the year."
Another American tradition is the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California. The Tournament of Roses parade that precedes the football game on New Year's day is made up of elaborate and inventive floats. The first parade was held in 1886.

Widely Observed New Year Symbols and Traditions
Resolutions:
Fireworks:
For more New Year's features see the Noisemaking and fireworks on New Year's eve is believed to have originated in ancient times, when noise and fire were thought to dispel evil spirits and bring good luck. The Chinese are credited with inventing fireworks and use them to spectacular effect in their New Year's celebrations. History of New Year and Saying "Happy New Year!" Around the World. It is believed that the Babylonians were the first to make New Year's resolutions, and people all over the world have been breaking them ever since. The early Christians believed the first day of the new year should be spent reflecting on past mistakes and resolving to improve oneself in the new year.

What ever your belief and however you plan to celebrate:
HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL

CHRISTMAS COMICS

2011-12-21T23:43:00.000-06:00

WHITE TRASH CHRISTMAS

2011-12-07T00:06:00.000-06:00

You gotta watch this video. It's one of my all time favorite Christmas parodies. Warning: not for kids

FW: joke

2011-11-16T14:09:00.000-06:00

A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached by a game warden in Central Mississippi as he started to drive his boat away from a lake.

The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?"

"Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."

"Pet fish??"

"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."

"What a line of horse sh-t....you're under arrest."

The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment Man. I'll show ya! We do this all the time!!"

"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"

The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"

"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.

The warden asked, "When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?"

"The FISH," replied the warden!

"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.
You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.

FW: Ettiquette Guide for Redneck's

2011-11-16T13:33:00.000-06:00

Ettiquette Guide for Redneck's

1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
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DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup,and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
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ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...no matter how good his manners are.
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PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
****************

DATING (Outside the Family)

1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back.Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
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THEATER ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
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WEDDINGS

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
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DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

Captured in America: Phots from Our Past

2011-11-05T06:03:00.000-05:00

These picstures were taken from color slides found at the Library of Congress. They are dated between 1939-1943. The pictures are so clear and the color is so vibrant, it looks as though they were taken just yesterday. The were shot by photographers of the Farm Security Administration/Office of War Information & are some of the only color photographs taken of the effects of the Depression on America’s rural and small town populations. The photographs are the property of the Library of Congress and were included in a 2006 exhibit Bound for Glory: America in Color. Captured: America in Color from 1939-1943 – Plog Photo Blog

EMERGENCY FUND

2010-01-11T17:33:00.001-06:00

There is now an emergency fund set up for my sister Teresa's family who lost everything to a fire last Friday.

If you would like to help the info is:

The Finely Family Fund
Renasant Bank

Thanks so much to all of you for the kind words, prayers and helping hands

MY SISTER'S HOME BURNED TO THE GROUND

2010-01-10T16:02:00.004-06:00

Last Friday my sister Teresa’s home burned to the ground. They lost everything, including both dogs that were sleeping in the back bedroom. Luckily Teresa, Randy, and their son Quin got out OK; but it was a close call.

Randy (who is self employed and works at home) was working in his office located in the front of their trailer while Teresa and Quin were in the living room, when Teresa heard the smoke alarm go off. Thinking the battery had gotten low she walked down the hall to check when she noticed smoke next to the ceiling. She heard a clicking noise in her son’s bedroom and just as she looked in the door the bedding and curtains burst into flames.

She ran back down the hall yelling fire; grabbing her purse and fleeing out in the freezing cold with Quin, both of them with no shoes or coats. Randy is self employed and managed to grab his hard drive with all his business records but nothing else. Thank goodness they also had their phone and were able to dial 911 for help.

The house was engulfed in flames in minutes, a total loss. Later the fire department said it was an electrical fire that had started inside the wall. That’s why it spread so fast. The fire was in the walls of several rooms before ever breaking out into the open where it was noticeable.

Lucky it happened in the daytime. If it had happened at night, Quin would have died for sure and probably the entire family would have perished. They lost everything. We’ve been digging through the rubble and found a few things. It’s amazing what will survive a total burn down. Teresa had an antique chest that was totally charred, but everything inside only suffered smoke damage. We managed to find some heirloom silver and it appears that lots of her family pictures might be salvageable. Also, several of our Mom’s old Christmas ornaments survived with only some blackening and might be restorable.

The extended Waters & Finely families and our wonderful friends have been rallying around. Teresa’s family is staying with my youngest sister Lana, who inherited our old family home after our parent’s deaths, and are regrouping. They didn’t have a penny of insurance and it’s going to be an uphill battle to replace their loss.

This is to thank everyone for their help and to remind each and every one of you to check the batteries in your smoke detectors; they can truly save your life. I just went and bought two brand new ones, mine are old and it’s been a wake up call for all of us.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-04T08:25:00.003-06:00

Last March, three American evangelical Christians, whose teachings about “curing” homosexuals have been widely discredited in the United States, arrived here in Uganda’s capital to give a series of talks ....... a previously unknown Ugandan politician, who boasts of having evangelical friends in the American government, introduced the Anti-Homosexuality Bill of 2009, which threatens to hang homosexuals, and, as a result, has put Uganda on a collision course with Western nations.

Like we don't have enough trouble here, now we got to go stir up bigotry somewhere else!

CHRISTMAS SURVEY

2009-12-10T20:40:00.003-06:00

Stolen from Jackie Sue: The Christmas Survey

1. Have you started your Christmas shopping? All except stocking stuffers. What do you get a 10 year old boy who only hunts & fishes?
2. Tell me about one of your special traditions. Both the son & grandson get tack Christmas boxer shorts in their stockings

3. When do you put up your tree? haven't had a tree in years, too much trouble to take it down. Last time I put one up it stays till July 4th. However I do have Christmas Weebles on the bookshelves
4. Are you a Black Friday shopper?

Hell No

5. Do you travel at Christmas or stay home? I always have to work

6. What is your funniest Christmas memory? The year I got a chemistry set & made a stink bomb

7. What is your favourite Christmas movie of all time? Animal House's Christmas Vacation.

8. Do you do your own Christmas baking and what's your favourite treat?I never have much time but I do love all the "failed" stuff we get at work. If the cake falls or the cookies scorch all the wives send the results to the plant. Put it on the table & it'll get ate, no matter how sad it looks

9. Fake or real tree? I've had both. Love the real tree but not the mess

10. What day does the actual panic set in to get it all done? Panic?...you'd have to give a shit to panic..and I don't give a shit. Ditto for me Jackie

11. Are you still wrapping presents on Christmas Eve? I use bags if at all possible!

12. What is your favourite family fun time at Christmas? Watching the present unwrapping & the smiles if I get it right

13. What Christmas craft do you like the best? I don't craft.

14. Christmas music, yes or no? If yes, what is your favourite song? Only in small doses.

5 When do you plan on finishing your shopping. I'm done...

HALLOWEEN RANT (I DON'T NEED NO STINKING COSTUME!)

2009-10-31T20:07:00.002-05:00

Who needs a store-bought Halloween costume? I look in the mirror at all the ravages that Father Time has done to this tired old body and I’m about as scary as I can get without putting on a mask or wig.

What were once freckles are now fast spreading age spots, and beauty marks have turned into moles that seem to pop up in weird places and make me worry about skin cancer, something that I never thought about a few years ago.

I have lumps and bumps and rolls where once there was an hourglass figure. My skin now drinks in lotion like a camel at an oasis, no longer the texture of a baby’s bottom; rough where it should be smooth and sagging like the shoulders of the exhausted elderly woman I’m fast becoming.

The boobs are heading South of the border and my feet are getting bigger; but not near as fast as my ass is spreading out. The gray is fast taking over my once reddish brown curls and my hairdresser is losing the battle to camouflage the iron colored strands with streaks and highlights.

So I’m not going to dress up tonight. Instead I’m gonna so without makeup, let my hair go wild and stop trying to suck in my gut. I’m wearing sweats, a t-shirt and no bra. I’m letting it all hang out (picture the grandma on the Klumps running in the dream sequence with boobs bouncing all over the place!) and scare all the tick or treaters who show up at the door with my natural hideous self.

So come and get some candy kids. Don’t be afraid, this too will happen to you in a hundred years or so. Happy Halloween y’all.

KINKY SEX LIFE

2009-10-19T02:00:00.005-05:00

I found these and other strange but true facts at The Oyster's Garter. Who knew that the animal kingdom was so erotic/kinky? This shit is too weird to be made up but still strangely fascinating.

Samantha Henig just reported on the Museum of Sex exhibit on the Sex Lives of Animals. I like gay giraffes and well-endowed lady hyenas as much as the next person (OK, probably more), but the list struck me as shockingly mammal-biased.
Vertebrates—and that includes non-fuzzy critters like fish—comprise a mere 5 percent of the world's species. The spineless have kinky sex, too! Here's a list of a few of my personal favorites:
- As I wrote on the original Oyster's Garter blog, barnacles have the most impressive penises in the sea. A barnacle’s penis can be 8 times longer than the barnacle’s entire body. Barnacles are well-endowed because they’re cemented in place—in order to advance the species, they need to, um, “visit” their neighbors. (That’s also why barnacles are simultaneous hermaphrodites that both give and receive the glorious gift of crustacean life. Separate sexes wouldn’t work, since the only neighbor in reach could be the same sex.)
- Marine flatworms, also simultaneous hermaphrodites, fence with razor-sharp penises. Since they lack a female orifice, sex occurs when the loser gets stabbed right through their body wall. The technical term? Hypodermic impregnation. Some spiders do it too. Ow.
- From horrifying spiked beetle penises to earwig penises that occasionally snap right off in the midst of sex, insects have all kinds of bizarre sexual practices. But you don't have to take my word for it—check out Season 1 of Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno series, where she dramatizes doin' it as all kinds of bug.

-And from a different article in the same blog "that is far worse than the Wired list's No. 8, having your sluggy sweetie gnaw off your penis. (Ok, maybe not.)" Wow, I'm becoming a fountain of usless but interesting trivia. Go check out The Garter.

35 QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

2009-10-14T21:49:00.003-05:00

From Jackie Sue at Yellowdog Granny.
The official meme rules are:
Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on.Answers may be one word only. Once you have filled it out be sure to pass it on to 6 of your favorite bloggers. Alert them that they have been awarded! Have fun!And this is the award you'll get if you get tagged to answer questions and pass the award and duties that go with it on to six of your blog buddies:

1. Where is your cell phone? on the charger
2. Your hair? is cut in a new 'do which I hate. Oh well, it'll grow
3. Your mother? was my best friend and I miss her every day
4. Your father? Daddy was the king of the house, with 6 women to look after him. In other words, he was spoiled rotten
5. Your favorite food? anything that doesn't include innards
6. Your dream last night? I never dream, or at least I don't remember dreaming
7. Your favorite drink? I'm Southern, so iced tea of course.Diew Dew runs a close second
8. Your dream/goal? I'm a simple woman, my goal is just to be happy
9. What room are you in? my living room which is packed wall to wall with books
10. Your hobby? reading, see #9
11. Your fear? Being helpless, a family history of Alzheimer's makes it worse as I get older.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alive.
13. Where were you last night? home
14. Something that you aren’t? Tactful (Jackie Sue & I have this in common)
15. Muffins? rather have cupcakes, love that sinful icing
16. Wish list item? does good health and my 25 year old body count?
17. Where did you grow up? Moulton, AL
18. Last thing you did? Washed dishes
19. What are you wearing? PJ pants & white T shirt
20. Your TV? on
21. Your pets? 2 indoor kitties & which ever stray shows up at the door
22. Friends? lots, and I love all of em
23. Your life? work, sleep and waiting for Prince Charming who I think dropped dead from a heart attack on the way over
24. Your mood? usually upbeat, if I got my nap out that is
25. Missing someone? Mom, Dad & my sanity
26. Vehicle? Silver 2004 OZ Rally Racer
27. Something you’re not wearing? a bra and shoes.
28. Your favorite store? any and all of my local stores.
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When was the last time you laughed? Talking to one of my girlfriends
31. Last time you cried? reading the book I finished at 3 AM this morning
33. One place that I go to over and over? work & WallMart
34. One person who emails me regularly? Phyllis Wallace
35. Favorite place to eat? Moulton Steak House

And now for the award and duty bestowing:
I don't have 6 favorite bloggers. So sign yourselves up if you're interested

BRA THAT TURNS INTO A GAS MASK

2009-10-03T15:50:00.010-05:00

Who said that there's nothing new under the sun? Folks, I give you a bra that morphs into 2, that's right, 2 lifesaving gas masks. No, it's not a joke. And no, it wasn't invented by a man. Since each breathable bra converts into 2 rebreathers, I guess they plan on we females of the species to share with one of our male coworkers. See guys, we're good for something besides getting coffee.

Now if they could just make the damned underwires comfortable.......

Introducing the bra that is meant to be taken off by Elinor Mills
The gas mask bra is one of the winners at the 19th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony.(Credit: Elena Bodnar)

This week the Annals of Improbable Research hosted its 19th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. As CNET News' Elinor Mills wrote, this year was no less ignoble than the previous 18, with such delightful discoveries as applications for panda poo and observations from a lifetime of knuckle cracking.

Elena Bodnar, who lives in Chicago, got her start as a scientist in Ukraine, when she witnessed the devastating effects of the Chernobyl nuclear plant disaster in 1986. She noticed, among other things, that women were wearing bras that may have been lacy but were certainly not life-saving.

Read the article to find out more.

ARMADILLO EGGS

2009-09-24T03:29:00.004-05:00

I was looking at stuffed Jalapeno recipes hunting for something different and ran up on this yummy sounding dish. I'm posting it here so I don't forget to try it if I ever get a day off. Found in the comment section of My Wooden Spoon blog.

I keep my peppers whole and make a slit down one side. I pop it open like a coin purse and use a small grapefruit spoon to clean out the seeds. Fill with cream cheese and then enclose the entire pepper with pork sausage about a 1/4 in. thick. I then coat it in Pork Shake & Bake and bake at 350 for 30 to 35 minutes. We call them Armadillo Eggs and I can never seem to make enough when I take them to a cookout.

ELOPEMENT & TRADING HORSES; A BLAST FROM THE PAST

2009-09-24T02:33:00.009-05:00

The news wasn’t always bad like it seems to be now now. I'm sorry to say that newspapers just don’t write this kinda story any more. I found this heartwarming romance article in Old Lawrence Reminisces, A journal of Lawrence County, Alabama history and genealogy; September 1993 Volume 7, Number 3 issue. All language and spellings are as written in the article. The Moulton Advertiser is Alabama's oldest existing newspaper. Moulton, I'm proud to say, is my home town.

The Moulton Advertiser Thursday Aug. 30, 1888

Mrs. Julia A Smith was married to Mr. Samuel McCarver in the Evett’s Hotel at this place, on Tuesday of last week Both live near Mt. Home, and both have large families to begin life again with. We learn that how it came to happen was I this wise, which was purely accidental: The groom went over to buy a horse of the bride, and while trading around something was said about matrimony. This one word fired both hearts with an undying love. In an instant, in the twinkling of an eye, two souls had but a single thought and that thought was to have the silken cord tied. In a few moments they were speeding away to Moulton on Wheels, and early in the afternoon Judge Kumpe pronounced them one flesh. “Whom God hath joined together let not man put under.” We forward our congratulations by mail, but shall continue to address the Moulton Advertiser to “Mrs. Julia A. Smith” until further instructions

Lawrence County, Alabama Archives Website

SILVER THREADS & RICHARD LAYMON

2009-09-20T04:15:00.003-05:00

I love this quote. Makes me look at my graying hair in a totally different way.

Then he gave his long hair a few flings with his fingers. "You see all this-here silver?"

Both his mustache and his hair were mostly black, but streaked with plenty of shiny strands.

"Know what it is, Willy?"

"Gray hair, is it?"

"Silver, Precious silver. It's the pay you get for staying alive. The longer you go without getting perforated by various rapscallions and Indians - or scalped - the more you collect. All you gotta do is take a gander at a man's head and you can get yourself a fair estimate of his worth. You see much silver up there, you know he ain't easy to kill."

OPEN LETTER TO OUR GOVERMENT

2009-09-09T17:34:00.003-05:00

This is an email (long but worth the read) that a cousin sent to me, the lady made some valid points.......

The following letter, read on Glenn Beck's show, is rapidly circulating around the country. Americans everywhere identify with this 53-year-old woman. She has given us a voice. Once you read this, you will want to forward it to all of your friends...

GLENN BECK: I got a letter from a woman in Arizona .. She writes an open letter to our nation's leadership:

"I'm a home grown American citizen, 53, registered Democrat all my life. Before the last presidential election I registered as a Republican because I no longer felt the Democratic Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. Now I no longer feel the Republican Party represents my views or works to pursue issues important to me. The fact is I no longer feel any political party or representative in Washington represents my views or works to pursue the issues important to me. There must be someone. Please tell me who you are. Please stand up and tell me that you are there and that you're willing to fight for our Constitution as it was written. Please stand up now. You might ask yourself what my views and issues are that I would horribly feel so disenfranchised by both major political parties. What kind of nut job am I? Will you please tell me?Well, these are briefly my views and issues for which I seek representation:

One, illegal immigration. I want you to stop coddling illegal immigrants and secure our borders. Close the underground tunnels. Stop the violence and the trafficking in drugs and people. No amnesty, not again. Been there, done that, no resolution. P.S., I'm not a racist. This isn't to be confused with legal immigration.

Two, the STIMULUS bill, I want it repealed and I want no further funding supplied to it. We told you no, but you did it anyway. I want the remaining unfunded 95% repealed. Freeze, repeal.

Three: Czars, I want the circumvention of our checks and balances stopped immediately. Fire the czars. No more czars. Government officials answer to the process, not to the president. Stop trampling on our Constitution and honor it.

Four, cap and trade. The debate on global warming is not over. There is more to say.

Five, universal health care. I will not be rushed into another expensive decision. Don't you dare try to pass this in the middle of the night and then go on break. Slow down!

Six, growing government control. I want states rights and sovereignty fully restored. I want less government in my life, not more. Shrink it down. Mind your own business. You have enough to take care of with your real obligations. Why don't you start there.

Seven, ACORN. I do not want ACORN and its affiliates in charge of our 2010 census. I want them investigated. I also do not want mandatory escrow fees contributed to them every time on every real estate deal that closes. Stop the funding to ACORN and its affiliates pending impartial audits and investigations. I do not trust them with taking the census over with our taxpayer money. I don't trust them with our taxpayer money. Face up to the allegations against them and get it resolved before taxpayers get any more involved with them. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, hello. Stop protecting your political buddies. You work for us, the people. Investigate.

Eight, redistribution of wealth. No, no, no. I work for my money. It is mine. I have always worked for people with more money than I have because they gave me jobs. That is the only redistribution of wealth that I will support. I never got a job from a poor person. Why do you want me to hate my employers? Why -- what do you have against shareholders making a profit?

Nine, charitable contributions.. Although I never got a job from a poor person, I have helped many in need. Charity belongs in our local communities, where we know our needs best and can use our local talent and our local resources. Butt out, please. We want to do it ourselves.

Ten, corporate bailouts. Knock it off. Sink or swim like the rest of us. If there are hard times ahead, we'll be better off just getting into it and letting the strong survive. Quick and painful. Have you ever ripped off a Band-Aid? We will pull together. Great things happen in America under great hardship. Give us the chance to innovate. We cannot disappoint you more than you have disappointed us.

Eleven, transparency and accountability. How about it? No, really, how about it? Let's have it. Let's say we give the buzzwords a rest and have some straight honest talk. Please try -- please stop manipulating and trying to appease me with clever wording. I am not the idiot you obviously take me for. Stop sneaking around and meeting in back rooms making deals with your friends. It will only be a prelude to your criminal investigation. Stop hiding things from me..

Twelve, unprecedented quick spending. Stop it now.Take a breath. Listen to the people. Let's just slow down and get some input from some non-politicians on the subject. Stop making everything an emergency. Stop speed reading our bills into law. I am not an activist. I am not a community organizer. Nor am I a terrorist, a militant or a violent person. I am a parent and a grandparent. I work. I'm busy. I'm busy. I am busy, and I am tired. I thought we elected competent people to take care of the business of government so that we could work, raise our families, pay our bills, have a little recreation, complain about taxes, endure our hardships, pursue our personal goals, cut our lawn, wash our cars on the weekends and be responsible contributing members of society and teach our children to be the same all while living in the home of the free and land of the brave.

I entrusted you with upholding the Constitution. I believed in the checks and balances to keep from getting far off course. What happened? You are very far off course. Do you really think I find humor in the hiring of a speed reader to unintelligently ramble all through a bill that you signed into law without knowing what it contained? I do not. It is a mockery of the responsibility I have entrusted to you. It is a slap in the face. I am not laughing at your arrogance. Why is it that I feel as if you would not trust me to make a single decision about my own life and how I would live it but you should expect that I should trust you with the debt that you have laid on all of us and our children. We did not want the TARP bill.. We said no. We would repeal it if we could. I am sure that we still cannot. There is such urgency and recklessness in all of the recent spending.

From my perspective, it seems that all of you have gone insane. I also know that I am far from alone in these feelings. Do you honestly feel that your current pursuits have merit to patriotic Americans? We want it to stop. We want to put the brakes on everything that is being rushed by us and forced upon us. We want our voice back. You have forced us to put our lives on hold to straighten out the mess that you are making. We will have to give up our vacations, our time spent with our children, any relaxation time we may have had and money we cannot afford to spend on you to bring our concerns to Washington . Our president often knows all the right buzzword is unsustainable. Well, no kidding. How many tens of thousands of dollars did the focus group cost to come up with that word? We don't want your overpriced words Stop treating us like we're morons.

We want all of you to stop focusing on your reelection and do the job we want done, not the job you want done or the job your party wants done. You work for us and at this rate I guarantee you not for long because we are coming. We will be heard and we will be represented. You think we're so busy with our lives that we will never come for you? We are the formerly silent majority, all of us who quietly work , pay taxes, obey the law, vote, save money, keep our noses to the grindstone and we are now looking up at you. You have awakened us, the patriotic freedom spirit so strong and so powerful that it had been sleeping too long. You have pushed us too far. Our numbers are great. They may surprise you. For every one of us who will be there, there will be hundreds more that could not come. Unlike you, we have their trust. We will represent them honestly, rest assured. They will be at the polls on voting day to usher you out of office. We have cancelled vacations. We will use our last few dollars saved. We will find the representation among us and a grassroots campaign will flourish. We didn't ask for this fight. But the gloves are coming off. We do not come in violence, but we are angry. You will represent us or you will be replaced with someone who will. There are candidates among us when he will rise like a Phoenix from the ashes that you have made of our constitution.

Democrat, Republican, independent, libertarian. Understand this. We don't care. Political parties are meaningless to us Patriotic Americans are willing to do right by us and our Constitution and that is all that matters to us now. We are going to fire all of you who abuse power and seek more. It is not your power. It is ours and we want it back. We entrusted you with it and you abused it. You are dishonorable. You are dishonest. As Americans we are ashamed of you. You have brought shame to us. If you are not representing the wants and needs of your constituency loudly and consistently, in spite of the objections of your party, you will be fired. Did you hear? We no longer care about your political parties. You need to be loyal to us, not to them. Because we will get you fired and they will not save you. If you do or can represent me, my issues, my views, please stand up. Make your identity known. You need to make some noise about it. Speak up. I need to know who you are. If you do not speak up, you will be herded out with the rest of the sheep and we will replace the whole damn congress if need be one by one. We are coming. Are we coming for you? Who do you represent? What do you represent? Listen. Because we are coming. We the people are coming."

FRIDAY

2009-08-28T12:27:00.000-05:00

It's vacation time for all us poor tired souls.

SWEET TEA

2009-08-23T00:38:00.005-05:00

Do you take your tea sweet or not? Cold or hot? Sweet tea is a Southern staple, our Mamas put it in our bottles when we're wee babes and the addiction starts there. Go up north and the yankees swear that you're ruining a good thing. Seems that everyone everywhere has an opinion; but we Southerners will fight to the death over how to properly prepare and serve tea.

I just had to share this article, AMERICANS AT THE TABLE: REFLECTIONS ON FOOD AND CULTURE (it's kinda long but it tickled both my funny bone and my interest). I ran across this culinary tale in E Journal, USA:U.S. Society & Values, put out by the U.S. Dept. of State/Bureau of International Information Programs.

Damn, that's quite a mouthful!

You should go and read the whole paper, it's got tons of recipes and history about how different foods became staples in the USA.

INCLUDE ME OUT:

A REFLECTION ON “ICE TEA"

by FRED CHAPPELL

The author, though a native of the American South,disdains the region’s signature liquid refreshment, iced tea. He sees perversity behind the popularity of the highly sweetened drink, which he calls an “insipid banality,” but that doesn’t stop him from offering the reader guidance on how to prepare it.

"There are people who eat cold pasta salad. They enjoy despoiling their greenery with gummy, tasteless squiggles of tough, damp bread dough that are usually made palatable only when heavily disguised with hot tomato sauce and a stiff mask of Parmesan cheese. This salad does have the virtue of economy. Wednesday leftovers can be marketed to Thursday customers of perverse taste.

It is probably perversity also that accounts for the prevalence of ice tea in our American south. It was Edgar Allan Poe who first diagnosed this immitigable contrariness of human nature in his short story, The Imp of the Perverse, and he undoubtedly saw it as a normal trait of Dixie character. But please include me out. I am one southerner who detests that dirty water the color of oak-leaf tannin and its insipid banality. When I am offered ice tea by one of our charming southern hostesses, I know I’m in for a long afternoon of hearing about Cousin Mary Alice’s new babe and its genius antics in the playpen.

Hot tea makes sense. It can relax as well as stimulate and in fact may be sipped as a soporific. It can offer a bouquet pungent or delicate and causes us to understand why the Chinese designated certain strains of flowers as “tea roses.” It can be a topic of conversation, too, as southerners revive the traditional English debate as to whether the boiling water should be brought to the pot or the pot fetched to the water. Such palaver reassures us that all traces of civilization have not disappeared under the onslaughts of video games and e-mail.

But if you ice the stuff down it cannot matter in the least whether the water or the pot has journeyed. Any trace of the tea’s bouquet is slaughtered and only additives can give this tarnished liquid any aroma at all. There is, of course, plenty of discussion about these added condiments. Even the mildest of southern ladies may bristle and lapse into demotic speech when they consider that a glass of ice tea
has been improperly prepared.

Notice that we say, “ice tea.” Anyone who pronounces the successive dentals of “iced tea” is regarded as pretentious. And if you say “Coca-Cola” you will be seen as putting on airs, just as obviously as if you employed “you” as a collective pronoun. Down here we say “you-all,” “CoCola,” and “ice tea” and collect monetary fines from strangers who misspeak. Ignorance before the law is no excuse.

.
In recent years some enterprising women have seen the futility of the pot/water controversy and have begun making “sun tea,” a beverage that is never acquainted with either stove or teapot. They simply fill a gallon jug with water, drop in a flock of tea bags, and set the collocation out on the back porch to brew in the broiling August sunshine. If this method does not make the kitchen more cheerful, it does at least lessen the hypocritical chatter about proper procedure. Ice cannot harm sun tea; it is created beyond the reach of harm or help.

Now as to the recipe for ice tea: Lemons are essential and should be of the big thick-skinned variety, cut into sixths. They are never – repeat: never – squeezed but only plumped into the pitcher, four or five slices. Extra slices are offered on a cut-glass plate six inches in diameter. Mint may be added, but it is always submerged in the pitcher and never put into a glass where it would glue to the interior side like a Harley-Davidson decal.

And sweetening is the soul of this potation. The sugar bowl passes from hand to hand at a pace so dizzying it is like watching the rotating label on an old 78-rpm record. Southerners demand sweetness. The truly thoughtful hostess shall have already sweetened the tea for her guests with a simple sugar syrup that excludes the possibility of unpleasant graininess from bowl sugar. Sugar syrup for ice tea is concocted by adding one pound of Dixie Crystal sugar to a tablespoon of water. In the south sweetened ice tea is taken for granted, like the idea that stock car racing is our national pastime and that the Southern Baptist church is a legitimate arm of the Republican Party.

If you order ice tea in a restaurant it will arrive pre-sweetened. If you want it unsweetened you must ask for it. Actually, you must demand it with pistol drawn and cocked. And you will have to repeat your demand several times, because tea unsweetened is as abstruse a proposition to most servers as a theorem of Boolean algebra. Even then you can’t be sure. My wife Susan once ordered unsweetened, but it arrived as sweet as honey. The waitress pleaded for understanding. “We couldn’t figure out how to get the sugar out,” she said.

Why southerners are so sugar-fixated may be a mystery, but it is an indisputable fact. We are a breed who makes marmalades of zucchini, tomatoes, onions, and even watermelon rinds. Our famous pecan pie (“puhKAWN pah”) is a stiff but sticky paste of boiled Karo corn syrup studded with nuts. Since this is not sweet enough, it will likely be served with a gob of bourbon whipped cream dusted with cocoa powder and decorated with vegetable-peeler curls of milk chocolate.

“Do you want ice tea with that?”

“Oh yes. Sweetened, please.”

Well, I’ll confess that, though born in North Carolina, I make a poor example of a southerner. I don’t even capitalize the name of the region. I’m a Democrat, a non-Baptist, and don’t care what kind of car I drive. To me, adding broiled marshmallows to yams is like putting raspberry jam on porterhouse. I once spotted a recipe in the magazine Southern Living for CoCola cake and had to fight down a surge of nausea. I flee as if pursued from fatback, spoon bread, barbecue, grits, and – ice tea.

Susan tells me I need sweetening.

Fred Chappell is a professor of English at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, and is North Carolina’s Poet Laureate. He has written numerous books of poetry and fiction, including First and Last Words, Midquest, More Shapes than One, Brighten the Corner Where You Are, and I Am One of You Forever.

CHEYENNE CHERRY-SERIAL KILLER IN TRAINING

2009-06-06T08:34:00.008-05:00

Only in New York could a 17 year old girl - in just 24 months time: steal an I-Pod at gun point, steal a dog at gun point and ransom it, assault a small child - and get off with only a slap on the wrist each time. THEN CHEYENNE CHERRY COOKS A LIVE KITTEN TO DEATH IN A HOT OVEN AND GETS OFF WITH NO TIME IN JAIL, AGAIN!

A Bronx teenager roasted her ex-roommate's kitten to death in a stove - then brushed off the incident as a joke when she was busted, authorities said Thursday. "I hate cats," Cheyenne Cherry, 17, allegedly told investigators when asked about the heartless crime ........ in a shocking act of animal abuse, they tossed the woman's kitten, Tiger Lily, into the stove and cranked up the temperature ....... the kitten was burned so badly a necropsy had to be performed to determine its sex.

What are these judges thinking and where are her parents? Cheyenne Cherry's only defense was "it was a joke". My Mom and Dad would have skinned me alive for animal cruelty and they would have flat out killed me (actually, they would have made me wish I was dead) for any kind of robbery, much less armed thuggery. I would have had to beg the cops to keep me in jail, because that would have been safer than going home!

I hope Cheyenne Cherry rots in hell; but I bet before that happens does she'll become one of the few female serial killers or at the very least a child abuser. It's obvious that this teenage she-devil has no morals, no feelings and no sense of right or wrong. Lets hope she never procreates, any child sentenced to have her for a mother wouldn't stand a chance.

I don't think therapy will help this monster and death's too good for her. She should be locked up for the rest of her life so that other's can rest a little easier. You can tell her what you think about her at her MySpace page:

Cheyenne Cherry myspace: http://www.myspace.com/shortypopoff11

45 LIFE LESSONS

2009-06-05T07:59:00.002-05:00

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion,Today is special.
22. Over prepare, and then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone and everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give it time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now..
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42.. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

BORROWED POEM

2009-05-27T06:15:00.005-05:00

Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move

rent a place of her own,

even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer,

or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to

retelling it in her old age...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh...

and one who lets her cry..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal,

that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,break up with a lover,

and confront a friend without;

ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
when to try harder...

and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips,

or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...

but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone...

even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. ..
whom she can trust,

whom she can't,

and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...

be it to her best friend's kitchen table..

or a charming inn in the woods...

when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...

a month...

and a year...

This lovely work was written by:Pamela Redmond Satran http://www.pamelaredmondsatran.com/articles.php
See an article Pamela wrote on the Huffington Post about this subject.
Author Pam Satran

What Women Should Know About Men

2009-05-27T06:01:00.002-05:00

1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming to high.

2. Women don't make fools of men -- most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you've got sick of him.

4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probaly lies about other things too.

5. A woman's work that is never done, is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one -- they try harder.

7. Go for younger men. You might as well -- they never mature anyway.

8. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -- "don't" and "stop" (but not used together).

9. Men are all the same -- they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

10. Definition of a man with manners -- he gets out of the bath to pee.

11. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he is.

12. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a women.

13. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men -- strong, caring, loving -- they'd be wrong but you could still use them!

14. Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent -- but they make great pets!

15. Mens brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.

16. Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

2009-05-18T20:08:00.003-05:00

I came home from work and mowed 1/2 the yard, the sun went down before I could get finished. But the sun is shining and Friday when I finally get a day off it's supposed to rain so I have to "make hay while the sun shines" as it were.

I'm supposed to have the weekend off (crosses fingers) so maybe I'll have something to blog about. The roller derby is in Huntsville and I'd like to go, maybe the Gods will smile on me and I'll get to have some live entertainment.

SUNSHINE ON MY SHOULDER

2009-05-12T21:43:00.002-05:00

Finally, a day off and the sun is shining! It seems like it's been raining forever, and the weatherman says that it's gonna rain again tomorrow. I managed to get the jungle that passes for a lawn mowed; I had to go over it twice and still there's stalks of grass that defied my poor tired old mower. At least now you can see the rose that managed to bloom in the midst of the knee high weeds/grass.

I don't have anything to blog about, all work and no play makes for a dull Junebugg.

BAD ASS

2009-04-12T19:53:00.006-05:00

This happened not far from where I live, that's what I call one bad ass. From the Florence Times Daily, Farm Animal Believed To Have Killed 6' Alligator.

ROGERSVILLE - Jay Cornelius knew his family's donkeys and mules are fearless when it comes to protecting the horses they share a pasture with, but he never dreamed they would take on an alligator.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

2009-04-07T09:00:00.000-05:00

What ever happened to summer? After weeks of weather in the 70s; everyone wearing tank tops and flip flops, its frigging cold! The radio said it was in the 20s when I left work this morning with threats of snow flurries today and tonight. It’s almost Easter, this is Alabama for Pete’s sake; it’s supposed to be warm and Good Friday is the traditional day to plant your garden. All the trees are budding, the fruit trees are in full bloom and now they’ll all get frost bitten and there go the fruit crops.

Cold or not, I’m off for the next few days and I’ve got tons of stuff to do. One of the need-to-dos is the yard but that’s gotta wait until the temp rises a few degrees. My new dog (that I rescued from the truck stop parking lot near work) has dragged home all the neighbors’ garbage. He doesn’t get in my trash, just collects stray shoes and clothing and cans from somewhere else and brings it to me. Maybe he thinks that I need more stuff or else it’s all supposed to be presents. Who knows what goes on in his adorable pointy little head?

I’m off now to find something warm to wear and maybe browse a few blogs while doing laundry. Maybe I’ll even visit a few of y’all.

HONEY, I'M HOME

2009-04-02T15:28:00.002-05:00

It’s been one of those weeks, and not in a good way. My allergies have been kicking my ass from all the pollen in the air (yellow dust all over the place, I had to run the wipers to clear my windshield before leaving the house). I’ve got bloodshot eyes and I’ve blew my poor nose so many times that I’ve suffered nose bleeds a couple of times, plus the constant tissue contact has made me look like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer! Scarlet laced eyes, crimson nose, not a good look for an old woman; plus they don’t go well with the double chin and chipmunk cheeks.

Now that the rain has hit maybe my ruby colored snout will get better. I went grocery shopping in the sunshine and just as I walked out the exit the heavens opened and a solid sheet of rain poured down. I looked like a drowned rat by the time I got to the car and was dripping wet after getting everything in the trunk. The pollen was making golden ripples on top of the water running across the parking lot; I’m hoping that the air has been washed clean as well. I’m home now; the thunder is rolling, the rain is pounding on the roof and the TV is ranting about hail and possible tornadoes. Ah, life in the glorious South.

Tuesday I went to the funeral home for 2 different neighbors. They lived right across the road from each other and died on the same day (who would have thunk it). One had been sick for a long time and the other guy broke his ankle and died from a blood clot. I grew up with their kids and renewed several friendships at the funeral home, not the best place to run up on old friends but what can you do?

I need to go do some housework now, gotta go back to work tomorrow night and when I’m working all I do is work and sleep. I usually cook a lot on my off days and load the fridge so I can grab and go and not eat a lot of takeout. Hope y’all are all well and I’ll try to do better at the blog posting thingy.

The Internet: Google’s hidden secrets

2009-03-25T09:55:00.003-05:00

Here's a few more Google Goodies.

Google.org/flutrends is an “early-warning system” for flu outbreaks. By collating data on flu-related Google searches, the service compiles a state-by-state, “color-coded” breakdown of estimated flu activity.

Mail.google.com/mail/#settings/labs features add-ons for Google Mail. One, “Mail Goggles,” stymies drunken e-mailing, blocking access at certain times until you’ve “answered five mental math problems in 60 seconds.”
Google.com/alerts is a free “personal clipping service.” Type in a search phrase—your name or company, for instance—to receive an e-mail whenever the term’s mentioned online.
Reader.google.com lets you “subscribe” to sites that cover your favorite topics, and then will deliver their text to you daily, “all nicely congregated on a single page."
Source: The New York Times

AND I QUOTE:

2009-02-14T16:03:00.005-06:00

I've never been one to fear my own death. Not that I want to die, of course. I've just always seen death as a lights-out proposition. You're gone. Either it's the end of you ... or it's a beginning. Either way, I don't imagine there's much looking back. I've never bought the whole fire-and-brimstone thing, the concept of reward or punishment at death. The idea that a tally has been kept of our good or evil or mediocre deeds, and that the soul is filed away accordingly for all eternity, just doesn't ring true. Humans judge that way. I tend to think that God probably doesn't. He or she just keeps doling out the lessons with endless patience until you finally "get it" in this life or the next.
"Sliver of Truth" by Lisa Unger

THANKSGIVING REPEAT POST

2008-11-27T06:00:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving y'all. Today's pretty busy here at work, so I'm gonna repeat one of my favorite posts. I know most of y'all have already read this, but it fits right in with the giving thanks theme.

WHERE I'M FROM
I'm from home-made dresses sewn on Mom's Singer sewing machine with loving hands, patched jeans, bare feet and cousin's hand-me-downs.

I'm from white frame houses beside sway-backed barns on dusty back roads, party lines, baths in a #10 wash tub set in the kitchen floor and window fans stirring humid summer air while little girls turn a TV antenna trying to locate one of the three local stations

I'm from spring-fed creeks, hills and hollers veiled with woods, Tarzan vines and wild flowers; rural mysteries, dreams and adventures just waiting to be found.

I'm from Grady and Elsie, Don and Byrd, Wayne and Ruth; hard headed, hard working, hard loving people who raised 5 girls with whippings and hugs dealt out in equal measure.

I'm from an Amazon tribe of 5 sisters who fought and scratched and battled each other but presented a united front to any outsider who dared to cross one of us.

I'm from dancing for joy under an outdoor shower made from an old bucket full of holes, hung overhead and the water hose stuffed in it; tire swings and tree houses and camping under the stars.

I'm from Baptists with creek-side dunkings and Church of Christs who claim to be "the only ones"; purple Kool-Aid and cookies at Vacation Bible School and pictures made of glued-on pasta in Sunday School.

I'm from Moulton on the edge of Bankhead Forest in the north of Alabama, with the blood of Cherokee Nations, Black Dutch, Germans, Irish Immigrants, and Mayflower Pilgrims running through my veins.

I'm from sweet tea, corn bread with real butter, mac and cheese, peach cobbler and fresh garden vegetables raised in the back yard along with banana kisses, Vienna sausages and Mountain Dews devoured at Bass's service station.

I'm from Teresa who threw a match in gas and lived to tell about it, Tina with the red-headed temper, Donna, my sidekick who always followed me and Karen around and Lana who'll always be "PeeWee" to the rest of us.

I'm from Dad who quit school in the 6th grade and got an education in the air force and Mom, who met him on a blind-date and eloped with him 10 days later; a True Romance story for the ages.

I'm from goofy school photos featuring missing teeth and messy hair, candid snapshots made with an old Brownie camera showing little girls with skinny legs and big smiles, all stuffed out of sight in drawers and closets and the bench of Mom's old piano.

I'm from a wild neighborhood posse of boys and girls who roamed for miles on horseback, getting drunk on vodka bought from the local bootlegger & paid for by picking up drink bottles from the side of the road, teaching each other how to kiss, scaring each other to death with seances and graveyard stories, fighting with and for each other all through childhood.

I'm from The South with our slow talking, sweet sounding accents, folks who are so friendly we'll speak and wave at friends or strangers, where everyone's raised to have manners and use them--even on those that don't deserve to be Sir'ed and Mam'ed.

WORSE THAN WE THOUGHT

2008-11-18T01:44:00.005-06:00

Forget third world countries, this article in Fox News is scary and happening right here on our very own door step. The opening paragraph says it all:

WASHINGTON — Some 691,000 children went hungry in the U.S. sometime in 2007, while close to one in eight Americans struggled to feed themselves adequately even before this year's sharp economic downtown, the Agriculture Department reported Monday

.
Go and read the rest for yourselves. With the economy failing, companies closing all over and people losing their homes no matter how hard they try going hungru is something one might have expected to hear, but this report was for last year and things are much worse now than it was then.

Here's the holidays knocking on our doors, and while most of us are buying turkeys and planning menus "Tiny Tim" down the street is scraping the bottom of the peanut butter jar while his mom cries in helplessness.

Wonder how many little ones are going to bed hungry tonight?

STORE CLOSINGS AFND LAYOFFS

2008-11-14T20:37:00.004-06:00

I got this in an email from a friend and thought it worth passing on. If you have gift cards, hurry up and use them!!

Ann Taylor closing 117 stores nationwide. A company spokeswoman said the company hasn't revealed which stores will be shuttered. It will let the stores that will close this fiscal year know over the next month.

Bombay Company: (Freehold Mall store closed) The company unveiled plans to close all 384 U.S.-based Bombay Company stores. The company's online storefront has discontinued operations.

Women's retailer Cache announced that it is closing 20 to 23 stores this
year.

Circuit City - Initial statements suggest that 150 of Circuit City 's 1484 stores in the US and Canada may be shut down. In addition to the closings, Circuit City may be liquidating up to $350 million in inventory, likely at fire sale pricing.

CompUSA (CLOSED) clarifies details on store closings. Any extended warranties purchased for products through CompUSA will be honored by a third-party provider, Assurant Solutions. Gift cards, rain checks, and rebates purchased prior to December 12 can be redeemed at any time during the final sale. For those who have a gadget currently in for service with CompUSA, the repair will be completed and the gadget will be returned to owners.

Dillard's to close more stores. Dillard's Inc. said it will continue to focus on closing under performing stores, reducing expenses and improving its merchandise in 2008. At the company's annual shareholder meeting, CEO William Dillard II said the company will close another six under performing stores this year.

Disney Store owner has the right to close 98 stores. The Walt Disney Company announced it acquired about 220 Disney Stores from subsidiaries of The Children's Place Retail Stores. The exact number of stores acquired will depend on negotiations with landlords. Those subsidiaries of Children's Place filed for bankruptcy protection in late March. Walt Disney, in the news release, said it has also obtained the right to close about 98 Disney Stores in the U.S. The press release didn't list those stores.

Eddie Bauer to close more stores. Eddie Bauer has already closed 27 shops in the first quarter and plans to close up to two more outlet stores by the end of the year.

Ethan Allen Interiors: The company announced plans to close 12 of 300+ stores in an effort to cut costs.

Foot Locker to close 140 stores. In the company press release and during its conference call with analysts today, it did not specify where the future store closures - all planned in fiscal 2008 - will be. The company could not be mmediately reached for comment

Gap Inc. closing 85 stores. In addition to its namesake chain, Gap also owns Old Navy and Banana Republic . The company said the closures - all planned for fiscal 2008 - will be weighted toward the Gap brand.

Home Depot store closings. ( E. Brunswick , Rt 18 just put up their closing sign) ATLANTA - Nearly 7+ months after its chief executive said there were no plans to cut the number of its core retail stores, The Home Depot Inc. announced Thursday that it is shuttering 15 of them amid a slumpingU.S. economy and housing market. The move will affect 1,300 employees. It is the first time the world's largest home improvement store chain has ever closed a flagship store for performance reasons. Its shares rose almost 5 percent. The Atlanta-based company said the under performing U.S. stores being closed represents less than 1 percent of its existing stores. They will be shuttered within the next two months.

J. C. Penney, Lowe's and Office Depot are scaling back.

KB Toys posted a list of 356 stores that it is closing around the United States as part of its bankruptcy reorganization. To see the list of store closings, go to the KB Toys Information web site, and click on Press Information.

Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, Catherines closing 150 stores nationwide. The owner of retailers Lane Bryant , Fashion Bug , Catherine's Plus Sizes will close about 150 under performing stores this year. The company hasn't provided a list of specific store closures and can't say when it will offer that info, spokeswoman Brooke Perry said today.

Goodbye Levitz - closed already. The furniture retailer, which is going out of business. Levitz first announced it was going out of business and closing all 76 of its stores in December. The retailer dates back to 1910 when Richard Levitz opened his first furniture store in Lebanon , PA. In the 1960's, the warehouse/showroom concept brought Levitz to the forefront of the furniture industry. The local Levitz closures will follow the shutdown of Bombay (see above).

Gift retailer Lillian Vernon, based in Virginia Beach , Va. , said it will evaluate whether to sell itself.

Linens 'n' Things - Earlier this week, Linens 'N Things backed out of restructuring plans that included some store closures and decided to shut its remaining 371 stores in 48 states.

Macy's - 9 stores

Mervyns - Mervyns, the 59-year-old department store chain based inHayward, is closing up shop. The ailing retailer, which filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection in July and planned to close 26 stores, said Friday it now plans to liquidate its remaining 149 locations and shutter the business after the holiday season. "We are disappointed with this outcome but the company's declining liquidity position and the extremely challenging retail environment, together with the fact that we have exhausted all other possibilities, requires that we take this action," said John Goodman, Mervyns' chief executive, in a statement.

Movie Gallery - 160 stores as part of reorganization plan to exit bankruptcy The video rental company plans to close 400 of 3,500 Movie Gallery and Hollywood Video stores in addition to the 520 locations the video rental chain closed last fall.

Pacific Sunwear will close its 154 Demo stores after a review of strategic alternatives for the urban-apparel brand. Seventy-four under performing demo stores closed last May.

Pep Boys - 33 stores

Sharper Image: The company recently filed for bankruptcy protection and announced that 90 of its 184 stores are closing. The retailer will still operate 94 stores to pay off debts, but 90 of these stores have performed poorly and also may close.

Sprint Nextel - 125 retail locations. New Sprint Nextel CEO Dan Hesse appears to have inherited a company bleeding subscribers by the thousands, and will now officially be dropping the ax on 4,000 employees and 125 retail locations. Amid the loss of 639,000 postpaid customers in the fourth quarter Sprint will be cutting a total of 6.7% of its work force (following the 5 000 layoffs last year) and 8% of company-owned brick-and-mortar stores, while remaining mute on other rumors that it will consolidate its headquarters in Kansas . Sprint Nextel shares are down $2.89, or nearly 25%, at the time of this writing.

Steve & Barry's Earlier this month, Steve & Barry's LLC, once a growing force in low-priced fashion, filed for Chapter 11. Steve & Barry's, which has 276stores in 39 states, tossed itself into Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, the latest victim of a steep downturn in the retail sector and tighter credit markets. Mall owners have delayed reimbursing the discount fashion chain for store-opening expenses, further constricting its cash flow, the company said

Talbot's, J. Jill closing stores. About a month ago, Talbot's announced that it will be shuttering all 78 of its kids and men's stores. Now the company says it will close another 22 under performing stores.. The 22 stores will be a mix of Talbot's women's and J. Jill , another chain it owns The closures will occur this fiscal year, according to a company press release.

Wickes is going out of business. Wickes Furniture is going out of business and closing all of its stores, Wickes, a 37-year-old retailer that targets middle-income customers, filed for bankruptcy protection last month. They have already closed the Minnesota stores.

Wilsons the Leather Experts - 158 stores.

Zales, Piercing Pagoda closing stores. The owner of Zales and Piercing Pagoda previously said it plans to close 82 stores by July 31. Today, it announced that it is closing another 23 under performing stores. The company said it's not providing a list of specific store closures. Of the 105 locations planned for closure, 50 are kiosks and 55 are stores.

MY FAMILY CREST

2008-11-06T14:34:00.002-06:00

(Locality). A name given to one who navigated the waters, or resided near them.

HAPPY HAUNTING

2008-10-30T23:54:00.001-05:00

Well, it’s official. My grandson is growing up to be a hard core, dyed in the wool, full blooded Alabama Redneck. When I left for work this afternoon he was perched in the top of a tree with his trusty B-B gun in hand and blowing like his life depended on it on an old duck call someone had given him. Now this wouldn’t be so funny except I don’t live anywhere near anything resembling a duck habitat and his call sounded like a duck that had personality issues or throat cancer or something. Oh well, at least he’s live entertainment for the squirrels.

Tomorrow is Halloween and I hope y’all have a good time. I have plans with friends to hit a haunted house, go out for dinner and then take in a horror movie. Then on Saturday several of us are dressing up and having a witch’s brew night with game playing, Bloody Champaign Mimosas and lots of laughs and giggles.

Happy Haunting Y’all. Hope you get treated and not tricked.

WHAT'S THE VOTE?

2008-10-20T04:56:00.004-05:00

I love this new widget! There are four icons you can put on any blog or web page. When a page containing one of them is loaded, the browser goes to this site to fetch the icon containing the current predictions. Clicking on the icon takes you to the site. Why don't ya go and get yours?

WORKING FOR A LIVING

2008-09-19T12:20:00.006-05:00

Up at 3 AM, home anytime between 6 PM and 7 PM: every day, 7 days a week. This has been going on since I got home from Texas but I'm not gonna complain because I realize that I'm in better shape than a lot of other people. I know a lot of families making getting by on low wages who would love to be in my position. Yeah, I knew all this and more, but this article in MSNBC really opened my eyes. You should go read it and count your blessings. Here are a few highlights:

Nearly 61 percent of local and state homeless coalitions say they've experienced a rise in homelessness since the foreclosure crisis began in 2007, according to a report by the National Coalition for the Homeless. The group says the problem has worsened since the report's release in April, with foreclosures mounting, gas and food prices rising and the job market tightening.
..........
*The relatively tony city of Santa Barbara has given over a parking lot to
people who sleep in cars and vans.
*The city of Fresno, Calif., is trying to manage several proliferating tent cities, including an encampment where people have made shelters out of scrap wood.
*In Portland, Ore., and Seattle, homeless advocacy groups have paired with nonprofits or faith-based groups to manage tent cities as outdoor shelters.
*Other cities where tent cities have either appeared or expanded include include Chattanooga, Tenn., San Diego, and Columbus, Ohio.

The article goes on about how an unbelievable number of folks have lost their homes. Being homeless no longer means being a drunk or drug addict who doesn't work much less bathe. It now means whole families who couldn't make their house payment sleeping in the family car.

Thankfully I have a good paying job and a home that's paid for. It's easy to complain about high gas prices and long work hours but sometimes we need to be reminded that we're lucky to have a job and a car to put gas in and a roof over our head when it rains.

We (and the rest of the world for that matter) think of America as the land of the entitled. When we see pictures of homeless people, starving children, people sleeping on the ground with no clothes and nothing to eat we think of a third world nation but Wake up folks, this is happening here in the USA!

YELLOWDOG GRANNY, WESTFEST AND HURRICANES

2008-09-12T20:00:00.005-05:00

I reached West ½ an hour before Jackie was due to get off of work, so I decided to cruise around on my own and check things out. One of the first things to catch my eye was the Family Dollar sign and a light bulb went off over my pointy little head saying: “Hey, didn’t Jackie say that she worked at the dollar store?” So I parked, walked in and the first thing I see is Jackie at the register holding court with 4 or 5 people surrounding her. So there I stood in the middle of the store waiting for her to notice me.

Notice me she did but didn’t know who I was, thinking that I was there to see Inky. She pointed me out to Inky and he was “Who’s that?” when Jackie finally figured out “That’s Junebugg” and ran around the counter to hug me. I hung around Family Dollar until time for her to clock out and then we met Babs for get-to-know-each lunch where I had my first skunk egg (a wonderful tennis ball sized wad of ham, chicken, bacon, cheese and who knows what else that's been breaded and deep fried). Then it was on to Jackie’s house where I met and was approved by Queen Annie, one of the most regal felines on the planet.

Let me tell you people, Jackie fed me like a queen while I was in Texas. Country fried steak with all the fixings, ring bologna & cheese, the woman cooked up a storm; when she wasn’t cooking we were going out for kolaches (wonderful things, kolaches, I do they’re addicting). She made me feel pampered and spoiled and I dreaded going home where I’m the one doing all the work. It’s a good thing that I don’t live in West or I’d weigh 300 pounds!

The next few days were spend getting to know each other with Jackie taking me on a grand tour of West, pointing out all the highlights and giving me a running commentary on every building’s history and introducing me around to the local citizens. I believe the woman knows everyone within a 50 mile radius! The town’s not that big and traffic is almost nonexistent, at least until Friday. When the crowd showed up for Westfest Jackie would sit at a stop sign waiting to pull out going “Fucking Tourists, fucking tourists, damn it go home!”

We both got to march in the Westfest parade but I kept losing Jackie. She was handing out the candy instead of throwing it and stopping to talk to everyone (I told you she knew everyone!) Babs had put me in charge of making sure that Jackie didn’t overdo because of her high blood pressure but when I tried to fuss she told me “The hazard pay ain’t high enough and I don’t need a MAMA." so I gave up and let her be. We had made “Obama Mama” t-shirts the night before when she had made signs for the democratic float, but the markers weren’t waterproof. So I look over at Jackie about half way through the parade and she’s got black streaks on both arms from sweating and rubbing her arms across her boobs (big boobs are a bitch sometimes). We both about melted in the Texas sun and afterwards went to get some water but all the stores had already sold out.

Gady (another one of Jackie's blog buddies) drove down to go to stay with Jackie and go to Westfest with us. Lucky feller, staying all night with two women and all. So off we go and he keeps losing one of us in the crowd. First I wondered off and then we lost Jackie. I almost chocked when he panicked and told me that he was an “Alpha Male” and it was his job to take care of the women. I can’t remember the last time that I needed taken care of and I don’t think that Jackie was ever helpless, but men can’t help being men what with all those male hormones messing with their brains. Besides, it was kinda sweet.

I learned to do the Chicken dance, drank 3 Pevos (beer) and had a great time. Who knew that polka was such a big draw? The place was packed and everyone seemed to be having a blast, I even ran up on a guy from Alabama! I watched in amusement as an older gentlemen went around kissing all the young girls on the hand as he leered down their cleavage and there was a young man dressed in costume leaning on a tent pole holding a sign that said “Will dance for pevo” who Jackie tried to give some money to.

After Westfest we dropped in at a bar that Jackie knew. Gady was a little hesitant about going in because the lot was almost empty and dark and the building was “rustic”; but we females started in without him and you know that an “alpha male” wasn’t about to let the females go alone. Of course Jackie knew everyone inside and we all shot several games of pool. Jackie kicked my ass and then she played Gady. He won but I’m almost positive that she was sandbagging so as not to hurt his delicate male pride.

Home again; me on the couch, Jackie in the recliner and Gady in Jackie’s bed. Wonder how long it’s been since there’s been a man in Jackie’s bed??????? He leaves out first thing the next morning and we girls laze around and gossip about the night before (ain’t that what women usually do after a night out?)

I leave West in the leftovers of Hurricane Gustav. The weather doesn’t get bad until I’m leaving Dallas (thank Goddess, I hate driving in Dallas) and I had serious doubts about making it home that day. But all the rooms are taken up by refugees from Louisiana and the radio keeps promising that by the time I reach Memphis the rain will quit so I drive on. Visibility is nil, 18 wheelers are throwing up sheets of water and the interstate is flooded so I’ve got a death grip on the steering wheel driving while peering through the monsoon. I call Jackie at a rest stop to let her know that I’m OK so far and I can tell that she’s worried but I’m a stubborn cuss and keep on driving.

I made it home in 12 hours and 15 minutes, not too shabby for driving so far in a hurricane without any “alpha male” to hold my hand. I’d love to visit Jackie again, but I think that next time I just might fly.

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

2008-09-07T19:34:00.005-05:00

Lord, it’s been so long since I’ve flexed my writing muscles that I think they’ve atrophied (lets hope that brain-rot hasn’t set in also!). For those of y’all who’ve had the patience to hang around waiting for me to post, thank you from the bottom of my little old southern heart. I love y’all for your tolerance and promise to try to do better, but as you’ve heard before: "The best-laid plans of mice and men” - not to mention us females. Now for my long delayed Westfest post.

I left North Alabama on Wednesday morning (8/27) driving to the town of West, Texas, for a much anticipated visit with Jackie Sue (aka Yellowdog Granny) whom I’ve been online friends with for years but hadn’t actually met face-to-face. Friends, family and coworkers were all freaking out about me driving so far alone but really, what’s the big deal? Most accidents happen just miles from home because familiar territory causes us to let our guard down; you’re just as likely to get mugged at Wal-Mart or the grocery store as on the interstate, and if I drive solo I can stop when I want and drive all day if I feel like it. I’ve never had a problem with the fear of being alone and I’m a firm believer in “just doing it”. I truly think that if more people would just do what they want instead of being hampered by fear of the unknown, worrying about what someone else thinks is right, waiting for the perfect time or weight or age or income, yada, yada, yada; if you just do whatever the hell it is that’ll make you smile, then the world would be a richer and happier place.

Everyone was also tripping about me going to visit someone who was practically a stranger; going on and on about how Jackie Sue could be an ax murder, psychopath or bull dyke lesbian (did I point out what a vivid imagination they all have, plus I think some of the guys were using my trip as an excuse to concoct some major girl-on-girl fantasy action. When I mentioned that another female blogger lived in the area one of my coworkers got all excited and exclaimed “You mean that y’all are gonna have a “Ménage a twat”. Yeah, I work with a bunch of redneck hard ankles). The fact that Jackie Sue and I had had multiple phone conversations, exchanged gifts and cards and so on and so forth for a long period of time didn’t seem to mean a thing to anyone but what the hell, let ‘em have their daydreams.

I took the southern route, driving down to Birmingham and then swinging west through Jackson, MS and Shreveport, LA. Traffic was light and the weather was beautiful with the sun shining behind me and the car’s A/C keeping the 90+ heat outside. I had the cruise control set on 80 MPH and the stereo jacked up loud, singing my heart out with no one to tell me how off key I was. People everywhere I went were friendly and I didn’t have the first minute’s trouble with anything or anybody.

I crossed the Texas border that evening and spent the night in Marshall, with plans to drive cross-country on minor roads and do a little sight seeing the next day. I didn’t have a problem getting a room; as a matter of fact since I was a single female the hotel put me on the ground floor close to the desk where someone would always be close in case I had a problem. The desk clerk said that starting Monday that everything was booked because of the oncoming hurricane. I didn’t realize then that I was going to wind up driving home in Hurricane Gustav.

This is going to be a multi-part post, so stay tuned and I’ll let you know about all the doings at Westfest.

Petition For Brest Cancer

2008-08-19T08:13:00.005-05:00

From a nurse:

I'll never forget the look in my patients' eyes when I had to tell them they had to go home with the drains, new exercises and no breast. I remember begging the Doctors to keep these women in the hospital longer, only to hear that they would, but their hands were tied by the insurance companies. So there I sat with my patients, giving them the instructions they needed to take care of themselves, knowing full well they didn't grasp half of what I was saying, because the glazed, hopeless, frightened look spoke louder than the quiet 'Thank You' they muttered. A mastectomy is when a woman's breast is removed in order to remove cancerous breast cells/tissue. If you know anyone who has had a Mastectomy, you may know that there is a lot of discomfort and pain afterwards. Insurance companies are trying to make mastectomies an outpatient procedure.
Let's give women the chance to recover properly in the hospital for 2 days after surgery. It takes 2 seconds to do this and is very important. Please take the time and do it! If there was ever a time when our voices and choices should be heard, this is one of those times.
There's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act which will require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for patients undergoing a mastectomy. It's about eliminating the 'drive-through' Mastectomy where women are forced to go home just a few hours after surgery, against the wishes of their doctor, still groggy from anesthesia and sometimes with drainage tubes still attached.
Lifetime Television has put this bill on their Web page with a petition drive to show support. Last year over half the House signed on. PLEASE!! Sign the petition by clicking on the web site below. You need not give more than your name, state, and zip code.
http://www.mylifetime.com/community/my-lifetime-commitment/breast-cancer/petition/breast-cancer-petition

GLOW IN THE DARK JUNEBUGG

2008-08-06T02:26:00.003-05:00

My life has become a comedy of errors; “Murphy’s Law” has attacked me with a vengeance. I have big plans to drive out and visit Jackie Sue in Texas during Labor Day, I already have 2 weeks vacation scheduled and I am going if I can still walk but it seems that fate is trying to throw me a curve ball. Read on to see what I mean.

As some of you already know, a tree (well, half a big tree) fell onto the roof of my house. Not good but no one was hurt, the damage was minimal, the leaks were all in the overhang and I’m insured. Then …….

Wednesday, while watching the tree people remove several large specimens from beside the deck, my tummy started rolling and growling and just feeling not so good in general. By 11 AM I was having chest pains and by 3 PM I was in the emergency room convinced that I was having a heart attack.

After being poked and prodded, forced to drink gallons of barium, injected with radioactive dye and zipped numerous times through a CT scanner they decided to admit me to the hospital and try to find out what was wrong. Days of stress tests, entire pints of blood being drawn every 4 hours, more radioactive dye injected and no heart problems anywhere. Dr. Dick (I swear that was his real name!) kept dropping by asking questions, dreaming up more tests and promising me that I was going to be OK. He was kinda cute, real flirty and if I had felt better I would have enjoyed his company but damn it; I wanted to go home.

Skip to Saturday, still in the hospital, both arms black and blue (but my-oh-my the morphine was nice!) and I find out that my gallbladder has one itsy bitty tiny gallstone that was causing all the trouble. So they send me home with some antacid pills and hopeful comments about how I may never have any problems out of that pesky gallbladder again, surgery wouldn’t be necessary at this time. But ……. if I do it won’t take but a minute to suck that nasty little bugger right out of my belly button. Promises, Promises.

So, I’m felling better, the roofers are supposed to be here next week and I decide to mow the yard. Just a few passes around the back yard the dad blasted mower belt breaks. Damn it I can’t seem to get a break. Wonder what’s gonna happen next? I quit smoking and my body starts falling apart. I make plans and things keep trying to get in the way.
Now tell me, am I losing my mind or ……. Do y’all see a trend here?

MEMORIAL DAY

2008-05-26T12:19:00.000-05:00

LEIGHTON TORNADO

2008-05-10T08:06:00.001-05:00

Tornadoes hit near my home AGAIN! Watch the video here, at least this time people didn't die. Seems like this may be a bad tornado year for North Alabama.

EMAIL

2008-03-25T07:59:00.003-05:00

I recieved this today and it hit me just right.:

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old.

Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror who looks like my father!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's, 60's & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet dies?

But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. if I feel like it.

Green Beer

2008-03-16T12:10:00.002-05:00

BE CAREFUL ABOUT EXACTLY WHERE YOU FIND THAT
POT OF "GOLD"!

DAMNED INTERESTING

2008-03-11T03:29:00.003-05:00

Welcome to my latest obsession: the website "DAMNED INTERESTING". At least its my favorite for now, until the workplace 'puter police find out about it and block it from the work PC.

Don't just look at the first subject, browse through some of the many and varied offerings; this site has something for everyone. I'll warn ya now, it's almost addictive. You just might find yourself glancing at the clock and being amazed at how time flys by. Interesting and educational, what more can you ask for?

SNOW

2008-03-09T01:00:00.003-06:00

Last night snowflakes swirled and danced across both outside monitors, coloring the nasty gray tire chip pile and the dusty mountain of shredded bark a clean, frosty white. Steam billowed off of sludge and ash, obstructing my view of machinery, bins and hoppers; forcing me to guess-ta-mate on whether they were full or empty but damn, it sure was prettier than my normal view here at work.

Others may watch life pass them by on TV or out of their home’s windows, but we shift workers have to rely on wall-mounted monitors to tell us if the sun is shining, a tornado about to blow us away or if it’s suddenly snowing after a week of 70 degree weather.

When you work inside a windowless, climate controlled room the outside world becomes remote and your whole universe becomes the circle of ‘puter monitors surrounding you and the voices of your coworkers on the radio. Then you walk outside at the end of a 12 hour shift and get all squinty eyed; blinking at the sun while tears stream down you cheeks from the wind and cold.

Man, I need some time off. I drove home this morning on a sheet of ice and snow; giggling as my little front-wheel-drive economy car passed a shiny new 4X4 asshole deep in a ditch, with the tracks & ruts to prove that he wound up there after sliding across all 4 lanes (when will those rednecks learn just because it's a 4 wheel drive doesn't mean that it'll stop on ice?) It was a good day to snuggle with the cats and sleep long and hard, which I did until it was time to go back to work. I don't think I even rolled over and I didn't even stay to work out in the gym this morning, all I could think about was a warm bed and flannel PJ's.

Hope y'all are alright, I promise to post more often because they've gotta give us some time off soon. The company has some ads up for job openings so maybe they'll hire us some more help (hopefully someone young , cute and with a strong back. Hey, I deserve some eye candy!).

It's time to embrace being Miss Average

2008-02-26T09:49:00.004-06:00

This article in The Daily Mail really hits home! I think all women should read it and take it to heart. Here's one highlight:

After all, some of the most contented women I know are average in the
nicest possible way.

They are attractive enough to avoid weeping when they look in the mirror and to acquire a nice boyfriend, while being not quite beautiful enough to make other women hate them and to be shackled to maintaining their look well past the time at which they might have the energy to do so.

They are blessed with enough nous to navigate their way through life relatively smoothly without the pitfalls inherent in being a tortured genius, and they earn enough to pay the bills and finance the odd luxury mini-break, even if they will never hold a platinum card.

In short, they're ordinary.

You don't have to be the youngest, richest, thinnest, prettiest woman in the world to be happy; so all of us "normal" women have something to celebrate. Don't wait until you lose 10 pounds or the house is perfect to do the things that make you happy. Go on a trip, wear that red dress and enjoy life. If you keep waiting, it may be too late before you have the time/money/looks to do what you want.

MORE MAXINE

2008-02-25T13:58:00.002-06:00

Sex, Dress, and Power in 2008

2008-02-15T09:16:00.003-06:00

I got this email today and thought I'd share the love. Sad to say, it seems that we females will always be doomed, with society judging us by our appearance; the color and cut of our clothing or the size of our boobs instead of our brains.

The Clothing Chronicles
So, what's on tap for today's article? How to dress like a leader. Enjoy!
Diana
diana@fashionforrealwomen.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FEATURE ARTICLE
Sex, Dress, and Power in 2008
Does what you wear have an impact on how you're perceived as a leader?
That's the question that's been burning up the fashion blogosphere the last few weeks, ever since Hillary Clinton declined to appear on the cover of VOGUE magazine and Editor Anna Wintour took umbrage. The story makes an interesting case study regardless of your politics, because it reinforces the importance of knowing how to dress appropriately for your industry and position. If you work in a male-dominated field, I encourage you to take notes.
Here's the story:
Senator Clinton was invited and agreed to appear on the February cover of VOGUE. The day she was supposed to be photographed and interviewed, she bowed out, saying that on second thought, she had decided that being on the magazine would make her seem "too feminine" in her race for the presidency.
Annoyed, Ms. Wintour responded at length in the February issue of the magazine, saying, among other things, "The notion that a contemporary woman must look mannish in order to be taken seriously as a seeker of power is frankly dismaying. How has our country come to this? This is America, not Saudi Arabia."
So who's right and who's wrong: Clinton or Wintour?
They both are.
Right and wrong, that is.
The reasons are subtle and not politically correct, but let me take a stab at it:
On the one hand, you have a woman who has made it to the top of a female-dominated industry. Fashion magazines have been published regularly since "Godey's Lady's Book" appeared in 1830, and women have been writing for them almost as long - one of the few industries where women were welcomed early on. Not only does Anna Wintour wear whatever she wants to work, she influences what millions of OTHER women wear to work through her magazine's layouts, articles, and ads. Of course she can't understand why a woman can't be both feminine and powerful; she's been feminine and powerful her entire career.
On the other hand, you have a woman who has made it to the top of a male-dominated industry. Hillary Clinton started practicing law in the early 1970's when women were few and unwelcomed in the courtroom. She's had things said and done to her that would have sent other women screaming in the other direction, and she has the battle scars to prove it. Now, as the first woman to run for president, she's again treading into unfriendly territory. She dresses plainly and conservatively because she learned long ago that being feminine in a male industry is a liability instead of an asset.
Not fair, you say?
Life rarely is. But if you look at the underlying psychology, you'll begin to see why things have evolved the way they have. Western women are not required to don the traditional abaya worn by their Islamic sisters, as Ms. Wintour suggests, but they do need to understand a few things about how to dress when working with men.
Let's break this down to basics:
In the animal world, all the species have lived or died based on their ability to reproduce. When fish, animals, and insects look for mates, they seek the strongest, healthiest, most powerful specimens in order to accomplish this goal.
It's the same in the human world. Our language, manners, and culture may set us apart from the animals, but our basic, most primal urge is still the same: to attract the strongest, healthiest, most powerful mates in order to reproduce. Even if we're not conscious of this, even if we have no plans to reproduce, from exercising to exfoliating, women and men still regularly engage in behaviors to attract mates.
So what does this have to do with Senator Clinton and VOGUE?
Keep reading. It will make sense in a minute.
In her book "Survival of the Prettiest" (1999), Dr. Nancy Etcoff, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School, reports that while we're told as children that "beauty is only skin deep" or "in the eye of the beholder," the reality is that attractive people have long be rewarded for their beauty throughout history in nearly every culture in the world.
Pretty girls have more friends as children, are sought after by more men as adults, and are hired more quickly and paid higher wages than their less attractive counterparts. Women learned long ago that beauty is a commodity, which is why we have evidence of lipstick dating from 5,000 B.C., why Cleopatra bathed in milk and honey for luminous skin, and why we spend more money on beauty products today in the United States than on education and social services combined. Beautiful models and actresses are among the highest paid women in the world.
For women throughout history and around the world, beauty equals power.
But for men, physical prowess and ample resources equal power.
Just as male lions, gorillas, and deer viciously fight each other for the right to claim females and territory, so do men battle each other for the right to claim women and property. Sometimes it's been just that base, as in war, but more often it's played out elaborately over time by growing strong, gaining knowledge, and accumulating wealth.
To this end, as in the animal kingdom, men create an ongoing, unspoken dominance hierarchy in order to establish who's the "alpha male" in any given situation.
Dr. Etcoff describes it this way:
Males form ranks quickly, even as boys. In boys' camps, rank order develops in cabins within an hour. The top-ranked boy isn't necessarily the biggest, but often the best-looking, most athletic boy who shows the most mature physique. The top boy initiates and organizes, and lower-ranking boys obey and question. Their submission is rewarded by the dominant boy's protection and his leadership. (1)
The medieval feudal system is a formal example of this hierarchy, as are the various ranks in military, government, churches, and corporations.
But it's not always so formal. Watch any group of men together and you'll see this dynamic in action, even if they're all completely unaware of it. Ever wonder why young men always seem so hot-tempered and quick to come to blows when they disagree? They're trying to establish dominance. Ever wonder why guys like to watch football, boxing, or movies with gory battle scenes? Because they like seeing OTHER strong males establish dominance.
Guys learn early how to demoralize their opponents and how to find and exploit each other's weaknesses to gain the upper hand. Even when they're just joking around with their friends, men say things to each other in this ranking ritual that would end a similar friendship between women.
Now take a bunch of these strong, dominant males who are used to battling each other for resources, and drop an attractive, feminine woman into the mix who seeks the same resources. What do you get?
Well, once they stop laughing, as they did at the beginning of the women's movement, their first impulse might be to either sleep with her or push her into a low-ranking position out of their way. If she resists, then they'll treat her like any other challenging male: they'll "tap swords" to get an idea of her strength before they start looking for weaknesses and testing her endurance. Often, they'll set aside the nice manners they use to court women and revert to the rougher "locker room" language and behavior they use among themselves. So what if she's offended? It means she's weak and doesn't belong.
Now obviously, this doesn't describe every man on the planet. There are lots of nice guys out there all along the alpha-omega scale. Kind, funny, helpful, and respectful, they barely resemble the dominant males I just described.
But those dominant alphas are out there, mark my word. They tend to congregate en masse in high power, high income, male-dominated industries like law, medicine, politics, and professional sports, and in departments where big egos and big paychecks go hand-in-in. They may treat their sweethearts like princesses, lavishing them with pretty baubles, then turn right around and steamroll any woman that gets in their way, including competitors and support staff. If you plan to do battle with them, you must go prepared.
So dress femininely to attract men, but gender-neutrally to do business with them? That hardly seems fair!
It isn't. But in many male-dominated, highly competitive industries, it's the reality.
Yes, I know it defies logic - kind of like the ongoing fascination with Britney Spears - but research shows it's the most effective way to go about it. Women have a lot more latitude now that we did thirty years ago, and certainly much more freedom than many women around the world, but I think it's going to be a while longer before we can dress in feminine frills and still be perceived as a strong leader of men.
See how subtle and "un-p.c." this is?
So to return to the original question: does what you wear have an impact on how you're perceived as a leader?
Absolutely!
If you're in a women-dominated industry (fashion, beauty, interior design, the arts) dressing fashionably and femininely can have a positive impact on your bottom line. If you're lauded for your beauty or sense of style and grace, then you're a woman to be envied and emulated.
But in male-dominated industries (finance, science, electronics, oil), where strength and power are desired, being fashionable and feminine is seen as a weakness. You need clothes that are strong and crisp and that draw attention to your business savvy rather than your feminine curves. You want men to listen to your ideas, not check out your cleavage.
So yes, Anna Wintour is correct in saying that women can dress femininely and still be taken seriously - but only in certain fields. Spending too much time on how you look can hurt your credibility in many industries.
And yes, Senator Clinton is correct in saying that appearing on a fashion magazine may make her seem "too feminine" in her quest for the presidency. At the same time, UNDER-estimating the importance of wardrobe can also hurt your credibility. I believe Senator Clinton suffers from this.
While her clothes are usually conservative and modestly cut, which is appropriate for politics, she sometimes wears colors, patterns, and styles that don't flatter, fit, or command attention. Her selections seem haphazard. She has no signature look. She may be seeking the highest office in the land, but you wouldn't know it by how she dresses.
By contrast, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice "gets" power dressing. Tailored, flattering cuts in rich fabrics and strong colors, you know at a glance that she's a powerful, wealthy woman by how she dresses. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has also does a very good job of sporting flattering styles in luxe fabrics. Her color choices sometimes stray off the power path - like the lilac-colored suit she wore for the last State of the Union Address, for example - but by and large, she also dresses like a powerful woman in a male-dominated industry.
So yes, what you wear has a HUGE impact on how you're perceived as a leader. So make sure your clothes say that you're ready, willing, and able to do the job, and nothing's going to stand in your way.
Need more advice on what's appropriate for your industry? Download a copy of BUSINESS WEAR MAGIC:
http://www.businesswearmagic.com/
To learn how to "dress for success" in your field.
(1) "Survival of the Prettiest" by Nancy Etcoff, Anchor Books (1999), pages 74-75.
**************
Until next time,

Diana Pemberton-Sikes
FashionForRealWomen.com
AccessoryMagic.com
BusinessWearMagic.com
OccasionMagic.com
WardrobeMagic.com
TheClothingChronicles.com
=====================
Published by:
Top Drawer Publications, LLC
256 S. College Ave.
Newark, DE 19711 USA
Copyright © 2008 by Diana Pemberton-Sikes All rights reserved.

TWISTER

2008-02-08T23:31:00.000-06:00

I guess y’all heard about the tornados wrecking parts of the South. What y’all didn’t hear was that they came within a nat’s ass of hitting my house. I got lucky, only a few shingles gone and a few limbs down in the yard, but lots of my neighbors weren’t so fortunate. I went to school with one of the people who got killed, the elderly woman who just died lived a few miles down the road and dozens of people within rock throwing distance of my yard are now homeless.

The Governor toured yesterday and gave a speech our local church, plus the President was supposed to come today. Speeches are all well and fine but what we need are more weather sirens; the nearest one to my house is in Hillsboro, 20 miles away, and there’s no way I could have heard it. My power went out before the storm hit, so there was no way for me to have any warning; the family storm shelter is at the home place and all my sisters plus their families were in it but I had to ride out the tornado in my living room. By the time I heard that freight train sound it was too late to go anywhere.

The twister made a half circle around my place leaving a trail of wreckage in its wake. All I have to do is open my door to hear the chainsaws going, clearing trees off of my neighbors’ homes. Donna and I went out that morning and were both shocked by all the destruction of the houses that we grew up around. What hit me most were the pets. You would expect people to be wandering around in shock but the poor dogs were standing in yards and pastures looking at what used to be their homes or hunting for their owners who had too much on their minds to wonder were Fido and Bowser were.

I didn’t have power for a long time and the cable (which means both the TV and the internet) are still going in and out so I had to come to work to post. All my loved ones are OK, we’re really proud of Donna’s son the fireman who worked all night and most of the day helping the survivors dig out, and our prayers go out to everyone who was hit by the first tornado of the year.

Go click on the Fatal Winds tab for a slide show of some of the damage.

SAY IT AIN'T SO

2008-01-29T11:19:00.000-06:00

On my trek from the powerhouse to the parking lot I encountered an male acquaintance that I haven’t seen since last summer.

He: How’s your boyfriend, did he get over his motorcycle wreck?
Me: I don’t have a boyfriend.
He: Damn, did he hit his head that hard?
Me: Huh?
He: The idiot must have brain damage to let a woman like you get away!

My head and ego both swell up at the compliment.

Me: Thank you! That’s a really sweet thing to say.
He: Yeah, you’re funny, smart and you got a damn good job. Any man who lets a woman with money get away is an idiot.

Can you hear the hissing of my head and ego both deflating at an alarming rate? At least I know that I can weigh 400 lbs, be as wrinkled as a Chinese Shar-Pei and look like shit and still attract a man as long as I have a job.

OLD AGE

2008-01-27T08:49:00.000-06:00

SPECIAL POEM FOR OLDER FOLKS
A row of bottles on my shelf
Caused me to analyze myself.
One yellow pill I have to pop
Goes to my heart so it won't stop.
A little white one that I take
Goes to my hands so they won't shake.
The blue ones that I use a lot
Tell me I'm happy when I'm not.
The purple pill goes to my brain
And tells me that I have no pain.
The capsules tell me not to wheeze
Or cough or choke or even sneeze.
The red ones, smallest of them all
Go to my blood so I won't fall.
The orange ones, very big and bright
Prevent my leg cramps in the night.
Such an array of brilliant pills
Helping to cure all kinds of ills.
But what I'd really like to know...........
Is what tells each one where to go!

There's always a lot to be thankful for if
you take time to look for it. For example
I am sitting here thinking how nice it is
that wrinkles don't hurt...

BRRRRRR SHIT, IT'S COLD!

2008-01-25T01:23:00.000-06:00

Location: Work

Time: 1:30 AM

Temperature: 19F

Wind Chill: 9F

AND IT'S GETTING COLDER BY THE MINUTE!

We Southerners aren't used to this kind of weather. The heater is cranked up but it isn't doing that much. Our control room is suspended over a roadway really high up and between two other buildings and the wind seems to be attacking from all sides. I'm wearing a sweatshirt over a long sleeved shirt indoors and my hands are freezing. PLUS: This place needs to invest in heated toilet seats (I believe my bottom got frost bit on that last potty break!).

DAMN I dread that 15 minute walk to the parking lot at 5:30 AM! Wish the car would start on a timer and be all toasty warm when I got to it, I just hope I don't have to scrape the windshield again this morning.

BORED

2008-01-23T20:43:00.000-06:00

I lead such a piss poor boring life – nothing blog worthy going on unless you wanta hear about work or Shitty Kitty using my tired old body for a trampoline while I was trying to sleep today. Naw....... I didn’t think you would be interested in that.

I’ve actually got 3 whole days off this weekend (YEAH!) but don’t have anything interesting planned. I’m thinking about going bowling; I haven’t been in almost 5 years and the weather’s supposed to be cold and messy (rain, sleet, high winds and low temps in the teens) so some sorta indoor activity seems to be called for. Now if I can find someone interested in going with me; Donna has bad knees and Karen has a bad wrist (plus she claims that her allergies kick up every time she steps foot outside) and most everyone else is either working or has family stuff going on. I could go alone but it’s so much more entertaining when you’re competing against someone else. People tend to look at ya funny when you trash talk yourself.

Seems like all my buddies’ bodies are falling apart, various ailments and illnesses keeping them from doing the fun things that we used to take for granted. And the bad thing is they’re all younger than me! Damn that’s a scary thought. I guess it’s only a matter of time before I start to deteriorate too; age and gravity are already doing a number on my weight and shape so I guess my ability to do anything that I want will be next. Getting old sucks big time but it sure beats the alternative.

I’ll report back if and when something happens that merits a word or three. Until then y’all keep safe and warm.

JIGGLE QUEENS

2008-01-16T23:29:00.000-06:00

I thought the my sisters and I held the record for bouncing bosoms but these ladies have us beat! Behold the QUEENS OF JIGGLE. Turn your speakers up and watch the tops of these boobilicious corsets. (Stole this from Straight White Guy) These women are having a ball.

I thought the one on the right was gonna fly right out of her stays!

BIRTHDAY SNOW

2008-01-16T21:52:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was my sister Donna’s 50th birthday (she's next to me, I'm the oldest of we 5 sisters) the big FIVE OH that women dread so much, but she couldn’t go out and celebrate because of family obligations; so today Karen, Donna and I became “ladies who lunch” and went to Ryans/Fire Mountain (the local all you can eat buffet) where you can pig out on wonderful food and a dessert bar to die for. Hey, it’s a party; I can eat cake and ice cream and not feel guilty, right?

When I turned 50 I came home from work to find that Donna and her kids had decorated the entire yard with black balloons and crepe paper and a huge sign (painted in glitter paint no less) proclaiming that I was over the hill and my age for all the word to see; but since I was working on her birthday I couldn't return the favor. Of course posting her age on the web is the next best thing. So there ya go Donna, I got you back on the age advertising thing.

We wound up sitting next to an older couple and a young woman who were either Amish or Mennonites, I can’t tell the difference. They were dressed the part with the women in baggy dresses and the man in his black suit, long gray hair and beard. The young woman looked pregnant, but it could have been the sack of a dress that she had on. Karen said a cuss word and then instantly felt bad, blushing blood red and slapping her hand over her mouth while Donna kept lusting after those little white bonnets the women wore. Not sun bonnets like my grandmother wore to work in her garden but close fitting gauzy cap deals that tied underneath the chin.

Then Karen noticed some big guy who she claimed kept watching her eat, she said that he wanted her food but after he made three trips back to the buffet I tried to convince her that he thought the way she was eating was erotic and wanted to stuff something of his own in her mouth. Of course Donna jumped right on that, telling her how what he offered would be all hot and creamy, but Karen refused to play along.

Yeah, we’re goofy but hey, we had a good time. Of course people keep looking at us as we giggled and laughed and had a blast but the hell with them. What’s wrong with 3 women over the age of 50 sounding in high spirits? Besides, I’ve always heard that when you get older you can do anything that you want; it’s one of the few perks of aging.

Afterward, we hit the Dollar Tree where everything is $1 and you can load up a shopping cart for $20. While we were inside everyone started running to the windows and yelling “It’s Snowing!” The white fluffy stuff is rare here in Alabama, my 8 year old grandson can only remember 1 other time that it snowed, so it’s a big deal.

When we checked out and walked to the car it was snowing heavily, big fat flakes falling straight down. By the time I got to the car the shoulders of my coat were frosted white and I was wishing glasses came with windshield wipers. The drive home was almost a white out, you couldn’t see but a few car lengths in front of you, but the ground was warm and it melted as soon as it hit. It’s stopped now and they’re predicting sleet and rain tonight so I guess that today was our one snow for the winter. I guess you could say that Donna got snow for her birthday.

While I’m on the subject of birthdays, today’s Bitchitude’s, go tell her and Donna both ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY” if you want.

TEE HEE GIGGLE {{{SNORT}}}

2008-01-14T23:35:00.000-06:00

SATURDAY SUNSHINE

2008-01-12T20:30:00.000-06:00

After lots of thunder and lighting plus some wind damage severe thunderstorms Thursday left us wonderful weather in its wake. Clean air, sunny skies and moderate temps in the 50s made me want to play hooky today so bad that I could taste it, but duty calls so off to the slave shop I went.

The drive to work this afternoon was picturesque; too bad I had to make a straight line to the mill instead of meandering up and down the back roads. I wish I had thought to bring my camera and had the time to snap some of the sights on the way. You know which ones; those special moments that capture your eye and intrigue your mind. All too often they pass in a blink and get forgotten in the press of everyday life.

I spent several minutes trailing a vintage horse and buggy driven by an older couple, their white hair gleaming in the sunshine as they leaned their heads together. I swear their tilted bodies and touching foreheads formed a perfect heart-shape just like something on the front of a Hallmark card. You could see the happy pair’s smiles flashing from a mile away as their scarves waved gaily in the breeze. Young love be damned, it looked like these oldsters were doing just fine in their golden years. We should all be so lucky.

A bit farther down the road a youngster on a shiny new ATV (obviously gotten for Christmas) was zigzagging up and down the ditch banks; cutting donuts and slinging dirt all over a much used and abused older trail bike sitting on the side of the road with a “FOR SALE’ sigh on the handle bars. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the poor trail bike. Old, worn out, unloved and unwanted, discarded and replaced as soon as a newer younger shinier model becomes available. I think there are a lot of us who know the feeling, even if we won’t admit it to anyone but ourselves.

I don’t own a full length mirror. I live and work in jeans and casual shirts in blue-collar industry, so dressing up is a rare occasion. So the other night when I went to get slicked up for a co-worker’s retirement party it came as something of a shock when all my dressier clothes were tighter than I remembered. OK ........ I’m 52 and some of this stuff has been in the closet for years, I can deal with the thicker waist, broader hips and sagging girls. My face is aging well (I guess) and makeup does wonders when I take the time to apply it. After all, age hits us all differently, I have a friend whose body is the same size 4 as when she was young but her face shows her years of chronic sun worship. We all have our flaws; so I take a deep breath, throw on a respectable outfit whose buttons don’t pop over my bulging bosom, paint my face, twirl around and model for my son and the 2 cats who give their approval, and off I go.

It wasn’t so long ago that I had to be careful of appearance and body language at dinners and meetings; my co-workers’ wives considered me a threat just because I was decent looking and had a boobilicious rack. But the other night as I was introduced to the other ladies their eyes glanced at me, slid from my artfully streaked gray hair and down my ample curves. And then dismissed me. I mean they totally looked away and never acknowledged my existence again. Not in words, looks, acts, nothing. They saw an older overly-plump over-the-hill female who wasn’t worth the time of day because she could never interest their men. It seems that if I’m not a threat I’m not worth the time of day. WTF!

These younger (I’m talking 30-something) women spent the night huddled next to their guys shooting glares at each other while I and the few other “matrons” laughed and giggled and wondered what was wrong with the pseudo fem-fatales at the other tables. And it was unanimous; all we “middle-aged ladies” agreed that they didn’t consider us worth anything because we weren’t a threat.

When did women become each other’s worse enemies? And what the hell makes them think that anyone else would want the testosterone-sodden pot-bellied male who shares their bed? What happened to female comradely? Hell, I always have more fun with my girlfriends than with a date; I don’t have to impress the girls; I can eat with my fingers, get slightly tipsy on too much wine, do the funky chichken if I want, and I don’t have to hold my breath so my gut doesn’t pooch out as much when I’m with my buddies.

I just don’t get it. We dismiss each other based on age, weight, shape and if we think someone looks better than us. I thought it was bad enough when men did it to us, but now we’re doing it to ourselves. Girls, this shit has GOT TO STOP!

SAM JAM

2008-01-04T18:38:00.000-06:00

Why does it always seem like I have to work when the good stuff happens?

It's time for the "Sam Jam" honoring Sam Phillips, the father of Sun Records (Sun Records was located in Memphis, TN, but Sam was always proud of his hometown of Florence, AL) . For those of you who don't know, Sam Phillips founded Sun Records, which gave birth to the music of rock 'n' roll pioneers such as Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Roy Orbison, Carl Perkins, Johnny Cash, Charlie Rich and blues artists B.B. King and Howlin' Wolf.

And of course, the one band that I really really want to see, The Paul Thorn Band, is preforming and I've gotta work, DAD DANG IT! Paul is a great musician but he's famous as a song writer. Yep, you've heard lots of his music just being preformed by other folks. Paul Thorn was a prizefighter and skydiver before becoming a rootsy singer/songwriter. As a boxer, Thorn once fought against Roberto Duran and as a musician, he has toured and collaborated with Sting, Paul Carrack, Joe Diffie, Tanya Tucker, Ronnie Milsap, and Carole King. He released his debut album, Hammer & Nail, in 1997 and followed it with Ain't Love Strange three years later.

I sent several of y'all homemade CDs of Paul Thorn around Christmas so you know who I'm talking about. Don't you just love his music, his way with lyrics, the way he says what you always think but never come right out and say, the way he makes you bust a gut laughing! I bet a live concert would be the highlight of the year, if I could only goooooooooooo........................... Having to work for a living sucks. All y'all who never heard of Paul Thorn, go and listen to some of this stuff. The rest of y'all, put in one of his CDs and listen along with me. cause I'm gonna rock the powerhouse tonight. Even if I can't see him live, I'm gonna "Burn Down The Trailer Park"

Paul Thorn Live - Burn Down the Trailer Park

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RULES FOR 2008

2008-01-01T16:36:00.000-06:00

RULE #1. NEVER WEAR A 'BOGGIN, WATCH CAP OR KNIT HAT WHILE WEARING MULTIPLE EARRINGS --- DAMN, THAT SHIT HURTS!!!!!

NEW YEAR'S EVE POST

2007-12-31T12:30:00.000-06:00

Wahoo! I actually got 24 hours off Sunday (worked off midnights at 6 AM and came back this morning at 6AM. Working is a bitch but it pays the bills). I went home, fell into bed with a puss cuddled on each side, took a nap until noon and then went to town with my buddy Carol.

Carol was on a mission, in search of the perfect curtains. We hit Target, Wal-Mart, TJ Maxx and K Mart. The perfect curtain had to be navy blue, room darkening, and kid proof; not too much to ask but it seems that solid color curtains aren’t in fashion. She finally bought some at Wal-Mart but they weren’t exactly what she wanted.

Along the way I wound up buying a new plaid trench coat for 50% off and several pieces of amber jewelry (I’ve got a thing for amber). I also got lucky and found some digital Christmas ornaments (you download pictures onto the permanent memory and they act like a digital picture frame hanging on your tree) for 75% off at Target. That’s a great deal, marked down to $7 from $29.99; I got one and Carol got the only other two left. The ornaments were hidden behind some other stuff; otherwise they would have been gone because all the after-Christmas stuff was really picked over.

While standing in the checkout line I always pass the wait by reading the magazine headlines. I pointed out one on Cosmo to Carol that said in big bold letters “DIRTY SEXY SEX” and remarked to her that although it’s been a while, the last I remembered, if sex isn’t sexy then you’re doing it wrong! After all our ramblings I got home around 8 PM, passed out on the couch until 10:30 and then went to bed and slept until the alarm went off this morning.

The weather man is predicting our first snow flurries in the morning, Alabama isn’t known for the white stuff so they're making a big deal out of it (any time the forecast is for snow or ice everyone here makes a run on the grocery store and buys out all the bread and milk, I have no idea why). Tomorrow night it’s supposed to get down to 18 degrees so I guess I’ll have to break out the long johns and heavy socks. I just hope the road doesn’t ice over because I drive up and down mountains on narrow 2 lane roads and we don’t get weather days at the paper mill. Gotta remember to get some more cedar shaving for the dogs house on the way home this afternoon, too. Nothing worse than frost-bitten pooches.

I hope all of you have a Happy New Year; I’ll be snug in bed long before midnight so if you celebrate, drink one for me.

HOLIDAY MOOD

2007-12-23T21:44:00.000-06:00

Last night I got to watch my 8 year old grandson play basketball for the first time, this is his first year to play and I’m usually at work when he has a game. I’m proud to say he got two baskets, two rebounds and one stolen ball; not too shabby for someone who never played before (Yeah, Nana is bragging). Wish I had thought to bring a camera so I could bore y’all with grandmotherly type photos, maybe next time my mind won’t be blank and I’ll do better. He’s a head taller than all the other kids but so skinny that he has trouble keeping his pants up. Yep, I have a tow headed beanpole with big feet for a grandson, but dang he’s a pretty thang.

I’m finally getting into a holiday mood (bout time don’t ya think); there’s a turkey in the oven (who knew that it takes weeks to thaw one of those suckers out, after 5 days in the fridge it's innards were still frozen solid and I had to shove my hand up the turkey's butt and dig 'em out) and the car trunk is loaded with presents for our family get-to-gather tomorrow. I’ve been watching sappy holiday movies on Lifetime TV and humming Christmas carols all day. Lady Scrooge has left the building and Grandma Christmas has made her belated appearance.

I’ve had the hardest time putting myself in a holiday frame of mind: our parents’ wedding anniversary was Christmas day, Mom died just before the Christmas that would have been their 50th, and Dad passed 10 months later. Although we still have our family shindig at the home place, it’s just not the same. The house is packed with relatives; inlaws and outlaws and dozens of kids running around yelling and screaming, but there’s still an empty space that you can feel in your heart. It’s been several years since Mom and Dad left us, but I still expect to see them both when I walk in the door. They say that time heals all, but it’s going to be a long long time before the home place feels like Lana’s house and not my parents’.

Gotta go and check on the bird, nothing worse than a dried up old turkey, so Happy Holidays to everyone and I’ll be by to check on y’all soon.

SPECIAL REQUEST-WHITE TRASH CHRISTMAS

2007-12-22T02:03:00.000-06:00

I found this video several years ago and when I posted the link it was a big hit. Everyone has asked me to to post the link again this year, so here it is. The video fairly long but sooo worth the wait! If you've got dial-up you might not be able to hear it, sorry.

You'll be singing the "White Trash Christmas" song yourself after watching this. And everytime you watch it you'll see some little detail that you missed the first time {watch for the hound that humps everything}. Please give it time to load and I promise you'll laugh yourself silly.

So without farther ado, I give you:

WHITE TRASH CHRISTMAS

ON THE FLOOR

2007-12-20T21:59:00.000-06:00

Now I know I’m getting old.

After spending several hours in the floor surrounded by wrapping paper and bows, I found that I couldn’t just get up like I used to. Damned if I didn’t have to get on my hands and knees before I could struggle upright and on my feet! I go to the gym, I do setups and all that other crap, why the hell did my tired old bones lockup after hunkering down on the carpet? I was OK once I was standing, but gravity had me glued to the floor. It was like there was a big magnet sucking my fat ass downward every time I tried to stand up.

The cats seemed to get a kick out of it; they circled me meowing either encouragement or insults, I couldn’t tell which. I shoulda chunked them both up against the wall before I got up off the floor, just to teach them not to laugh at the person responsible for filling the food dish and emptying the litter box. Thank God no one else was around to witness my decent into feebleness or else I never would have heard the end of it (I know y’all won’t tell anyone!).

Guess I need to take up yoga or something to help on my flexibility. There aren’t any classes here in the boonies but I can get a CD and entertain the pussies some more. Thank goodness there aren’t anymore presents to wrap; I’m not sure I can go through anymore humiliation this week.

GODS IN ALABAMA

2007-12-16T21:06:00.000-06:00

How could I pass up a book with the first line: "THERE ARE GODS in Alabama: Jack Daniel's, high school quarterbacks, trucks, big tits, and also Jesus". All true, although I think that "big tits" should count as Twin Goddesses.

When running through WalMart on the way to work, the title caught my eye (hello - I live in Alabama!) and then the first page grabbed me. The story might be crap (haven't read it yet) but I have high hopes. This isn't my usual type of reading material, so we'll just have to wait and see.

Now I gotta go and pretend to know what I'm doing here at the slave factory. A boiler has crashed, everybody and his brother are on site (ON A SUNDAY) and the place is a madhouse. Hopefully all the VIPs will go home soon so we can get things squared away and have a peaceful night.

Last week it was in the high 70's here; all the windows at home were open and you saw people out wearing shorts and tank tops. Tonight it's in the low 20s with a wicked wind that cuts right to the bone, no matter how warmly you're dressed. If there are "Gods In Alabama", the Weather God is either schizophrenic or bi-polar!

CLOSE CALL

2007-12-14T20:54:00.000-06:00

I had a close call with The Grim Reaper today.

As I was exiting the post office my traffic light was green, but just as I entered the highway some ditzy blonde bitch in a green Ford pickup blew right through the red signal moving well above the speed limit, staring at me the whole time like “What the hell are you doing pulling out in front of me!”

I slammed on the brakes (never let anyone tell you that a front wheel drive car won’t leave black marks) slid sideways and slung all my junk that stays heaped in the backseat into the floorboard. The Ford Floozy just kept on keeping on, never once hitting her brakes or even slowing down. Thank Goodness I was only going about 3 MPH or else there would have been a mating of vehicles and not in a good way.

All I could do was sit there, half in the road and half in the parking lot, trying to get my heart out of my throat and my breathing under control. Luckily I stopped just short of T-boning the Hurrying Harlot but it was too damned close for comfort. I realize everyone is running around like crazy trying to get ready for the holidays but come on people, Safety First and all that. What kinda Christmas is your family gonna have if you’re in the hospital or even worse in the morgue?

In other news: the living room floor is piled up with wrapped presents, the stocking are hung and I have a fine collection of Christmas cards from friends and family. The cats have been playing King of The Mountain on the stacked boxes, shredding paper and unraveling bows to their furry hearts content. Everyone’s been bought for so no more fighting crowds and I actually have several days off next week. Barring schedule changes, I work off Tuesday morning and don’t have to go back until Christmas night. I can’t remember the last time I had Christmas Eve off from work!

Sorry I haven’t visited everyone’s blogs, I can’t do it at work and I haven’t had time what with working OT and trying to get all the shopping done. I promise to get around to everyone as soon as possible, but until then know that I’m thinking of you all and wishing y’all a Merry (and safe) Christmas.

THE FULL BODY PROJECT

2007-12-02T01:59:00.000-06:00

Leonard Nimoy is perhaps better know as Star Trek's Dr. Spock but he is also a very well known and respected photographer. His latest gallery showing is "The Full Body Project" featuring not stick thin models but women of size (you can see several of the photos on the website). Never one to follow the crowd, Nimoy has decided to showcase the beauty of the full bodied woman. In his own words:

I asked them to be proud, which was a condition they took to easily, quite naturally. Having completed the compositions that were initially planned, I then asked them to play some music that they had brought with them, and they quickly responded to the rhythms, dancing in a free-form circular movement with in the space. It was clear that they were comfortable with the situation, with each other, and were enjoying themselves.

How wonderful to find a person, and a man at that, who doesn't shy away from a woman with a little meat on her bones. These woman are more what we normal females look like; not those stick thin waifs you see on the catwalk, those boys with boobs whose pelvic bones could and should be considered lethal weapons. These are women who enjoy life, you don't hear skinny women talk about much except their diets and how much they weigh.

Many full-figured women are tormented because they haven't learned to love themselves. I believe this is because society as a whole (TV, magazines and the web are full of diet, weight loss and exercise ads), and so called friends and loved ones in particular, badger them to become something that they're not. Some of us will never be skinny no matter what we do. Age and gravity work on us all. Things settle, the "girls" head south, our asses droop and drag, we get that pooch on our tummies from carrying our children 9 months. And you men don't fare any better: the more your belly sticks out the less ass you seem to have, your hair migrates from the top of your head to your back and shoulders, your "solider" doesn't salute near as often nor does he "raise the flag" near as high. The main difference that I see between the sexes is that no matter how bald, fat, old or wrinkled a man gets, he still considers himself fine. I wish the ladies had the same self confidence. And ladies, you should know that there are guys out there who love your curves, AskMen.com - Skinny vs. Full-Figured Women or this guy and his commenters.

It's like the great poet Sir Mix-A-Lot once said: "I like big butts and I cannot lie."

So Ladies, love yourself. You have to consider yourself lovable before someone else can love you. No one wants someone who considers themselves worthless. You have to decide that you deserve love; hell, you deserve to be adored for the wonderful sexy vixen that you are. And age doesn't count, you can be a silver fox if you want. And men, cut the ladies some slack. A well rounded woman of any age will love you all night long leaving you gasping for breath and jumping for joy.

HO HO HO - OH MY ACHING FEET

2007-12-01T20:12:00.000-06:00

Ah, what sweet relief to finally get home and take off those damn shoes (wiggles toes in bliss). I’m used to sitting in front of a bank of ‘puters that look like something aboard the Star Trek Enterprise for 12 hours (which explains why my arse is soooooo big and my feet aren’t - as you can see in the pic to the right. Yeah, I work hard. Shut up damn it, I get paid for what I know not what I do, not to say I don't do anything ........), not traipsing from store to store in search of the perfect Christmas presents for my tribe of nieces and nephews great and small.

The stores are already thronged by masses of Christmas shoppers, and its assholes and elbows to get to the good stuff. As usual, Jr. just HAS to have the latest gewgaw in fashion and Mom & Dad are bound and determined that the youngster not be shamed in front of his peers. It hasn’t gotten to the bloody mayhem stage yet but I predict that in only a few days time we’ll see newscasts of shoppers fighting in the aisles. There was an EMS vehicle in front of the mall and several cops talking to some young men but I couldn’t tell what happened; it seems that I missed all the excitement, Thank Goodness.

I managed to get 90% of my shopping done, so I’m good. I hate to wait until the last minute and then grab just anything. A gift should show some thought, it's not how much you spend but the fact that you cared enough to think of something that fits the personality of the gifted/giftee.

Now it’s time to kick back on the couch and watch the latest episode of Torchwood on BBCAmerica. Captain Jack is a doll and what with all the overtime that I've been working I've gotten behind on whats happening, plot twists etc. Plus I just have to have my dose of eye candy before bedtime, conductive to sweet dreams don't ya know! Nite Y’all.

TAGGED - BOOK MEME

2007-11-28T16:11:00.000-06:00

Ell over at the Pomegranate Tiger has tagged me with a book meme.
Instructions:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fourth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences along with these instructions.
Don’t search around and look for the “coolest” book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.
5. State the book title and author.

Being a person who follows directions well (OK, stop laughing y'all!)I spin my 'puter chair around and grab the first book off the top of the stack in the floor (the bookshelves are overflowing and I have books stacked all over the house. No flat surface is left empty, dusty tomes litter every spare inch of surface and I've already read most of them). I open the cover, flip to page #123 and count down four sentences. Here's what I find:

She started to take off her uniform shirt, then stopped.
"What?"
"I'm too fat."
"You're goddamn right." She always said she was fat. One time I'd told her that she should shut up about it, that large black women wore their fat like mink coats.

From "Drinking Coffee Elsewhere" by Z. Z. Packer, a wonderful collection of short stories that tease, tempt and tantalise your emotions. All the stories are written from a growing up Black prospective but one also meets an array of other characters; from African American church ladies, white intellectuals, to inner-city dwellers, but the morals and feelings of these literary gems apply to us all. Well written, these tales don't have the feel of the usual short story but instead are well fleshed and thoroughly enjoyable.

This is my first book by Z. Z. Packer and I'm making it a point to find some more of her works. She's been published in lots of magazines (starting when she was just 19). Her work has appeared in Seventeen, Harper's, The Best American Short Stories (2000), Ploughshares and has been anthologized in 25 and Under: Fiction.

EVENING STROLL

2007-11-27T23:09:00.000-06:00

Opening one eye to check what o’clock it was, I was blinded by the light! A ray of lethal brilliance stabbed straight through my pupil and into the pain center of my puny half-awake brain. Instinct made me jerk the covers over my head, blocking out that damned invasive sunbeam, until I had time to decide whether it was worth the trouble of getting up or if I should just be lazy and catch a few more hours of shuteye. After working 3 straight weeks of midnights, sunlight’s only a distant fond memory. It’s usually twilight by the time I get up and hit the road, and still dark when I head back home; good thing I don’t suffer from SAD! Deciding that a beautiful day was too good to waste I half heartedly talked myself into getting up early and catching a little daylight before hitting the plant.

After slowly easing my head out from under the quilt and shoving the cats out of the way I staggered out of bed and into the shower. 15 minutes of pounding hot water later I was starting to feel half way human and ready to face the world. Dressing warmly, I headed for Recede, the company park, located on the Tennessee River and only 10 minutes from work. That way I could stroll the riverbank to my heart’s content and not have to worry about clocking in late.

There’s something about water that’s always called to me. The sound of a fountain, the vista of any lake or river, the majesty of the ocean; it doesn’t matter as long as it’s peaceful and not too crowded. This time of year there are no campers and there weren’t any fishermen out today, so I had to the place all to myself. TVA always drops the river’s level in the winter so there was plenty of room to walk along the shore, the exposed sand and pebbles showcasing treasures hidden by muddy water the rest of the year. The sunlight was bright enough to require shades but the breeze off the river was chilly, making me glad that I had my work jacket on. All in all, a nice day for a leisurely stroll.

Nickel sized muscle shells crunched beneath my feet, scaring away the mallard ducks who minutes before were busily catching minnows in the slew that borders the side of the park. Oddly shaped chunks of driftwood lay haphazardly upon the sand, smoothed and rounded by the tossing and turning of the river’s current: Mother Nature’s works of art deco. River rocks and quartz nuggets gleamed in spotlights of sunbeams, free gems for anyone who had an eye for beauty.

As I walked I noticed several sets of deer tracks leading down to the water. The largest ones no bigger that those made by a decent sized dog but the smallest ones....... OH! They were so tiny! It almost looked as if someone had stabbed two fingers into the sand; the fawn couldn’t have weighed more than a few pounds (what the deer hunters around here call a “shoebox deer” because when dressed out it would fit inside a shoebox). I could picture Mom and baby deer tiptoeing down the bank, nervous and afraid of anything that moved. Not only did they have to be wary of wild predators, it’s deer season here. Believe me, there are lots of rednecks who aren’t above shooting Bambi. But in movie of my imagination, they drank unmolested and continued back into the safety of the forest; the fawn’s dappled coat blending into the shadows of the undergrowth. Hey, it’s my story and I’ll tell it the way I wanta.

Then my time was up. The setting sun made the temps drop causing me to zip up my coat, peep at my watch, give the river one last lingering glance and then head on out for work to make a dollar or two more.

REVISITING FAVORITE BOOKS

2007-11-26T00:31:00.000-06:00

"He had discussed it in great detail with the two people in the world closest to him: his wife and his mistress. Anna, a middle-aged, ugly, bitter woman of peasant stock, had ordered him to keep away from the airport and stay in the background so that he could not be blamed if anything went wrong. Melina, his sweet, beautiful young angel, had advised him to greet the dignitaries. She agreed with him that an event like this could catapult him into instant fame. If Skouri handled this well, at the very least he would get a raise in salary and - God willing - might even be made Commissioner of Police when the present Commissioner retired. For the hundredth time Skouri reflected on the irony that Melina was his wife and Anna was his mistress, and he wondered again where he had gone wrong."

Damn, I wish I could write like Sydney Sheldon!

FUNNY

2007-11-25T17:47:00.000-06:00

THANKSGIVING MORNING

2007-11-23T00:10:00.000-06:00

A blustery breeze swirled moist mustard yellow leaves around my ankles as I stepped out of the car. Dawn’s anemic sun peeked through the remnants of storm clouds, casting a sickly sepia tone over everything. Last night’s thunder-boomer had passed; a goose-bump inducing drop in temperature and icy mud puddles the only evidence that summer’s long drought was over.

Puppies peeked out of the insulated doghouse, little black noses and floppy ears signaling that while they noticed Mommy was home, not one sorry flea-bitten hound bothered to leave their shared body warmth long enough to say “Good Morning”. Can’t say as I blame ‘em. Usually they play this fun game of twining around my legs or darting beneath my foot just as I try to take a step, trying to see if they can trip me between the car and the house. Selfish beasties, letting a little cold and wet interfere with their display of doggy affection, I should short them on their kibble rations!

After a long 12 hours sitting on my ample ass in front of a bunch of computers I was ready to hit the bed and snuggle with the poo-kitties for a long nap. I shed my coat and bags in the kitchen and was walking through the house leaving a trail of clothes behind me when I noticed the blinking amber light on the answering machine. Thinking “It’s Thanksgiving, someone is inviting me to fix a plate on the way to work or just giving me a cheery 'Happy Turkey Day” I hit the play button.

A sad/little boy lost/I just lost my best friend/nobody loves me voice said “Junebugg, its ex-sweet thang. I just wanted to talk, give me a call”. NOW HE WANTS TO TALK. Sounds like a personal problem to me, and it ain't no problem of mine.

Hitting the delete button, I slid between the sheets with the cats draped on each side of me and drifted off to dreamland. After all, I don’t get a day off until nest Friday week and I don’t have time for all the drama.

My new motto courtesy of Popeye: “I stands all I can stands and I can’t stands no more”

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2007-11-22T02:35:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving Animations provided by MySpaceGraphicsandAnimations.net

Graphics provided by MySpaceAnimations.com

Funny Turkey Cartoon hosted at MySpaceGraphicsandAnimations.org

Funny Turkey Animations provided by MUDTRAP.COM

Happy Thanksgiving Animations provided by MySpaceGraphicsandAnimations.net

Myspace Thanksgiving Animations provided by MUDTRAP.COM

'PUTER VIRUS

2007-11-21T23:25:00.000-06:00

Be careful! When you see this on your monitor:

You know it's been infected with another crappy virus!

FIVE THINGS OF WHICH JUNEBUGG IS SUSPICIOUS

2007-11-21T03:27:00.000-06:00

The ever entertaining Schmutzie has come up with a new meme, “Nine Things of Which Schmutzie Is Suspicious” and has graciously invited anyone who’s interested to play. The rules are simple:

• Write a list of things of which you are suspicious. Any number of them will do. Even the number 0 works. This is the first meme that can be done without even doing it. In fact, you're doing it right now.
• Include the list of rules, if you feel like it.
• Link back to the person who tagged you. Or not.
• Tag however many people you want to tag. You can skip this step.
• If you acted on rule four, leave comments on their websites to let them know that they have been tagged. This step is also completely optional.
•
Feel fantastic.

I’ve decided to play along. I'm not going to tag anyone so play if you wanta, I'd love to see your list. Schmutzie’s is amusing and well written but I’m at work and blogging on the sly so I’m just going to hit the hi-lights and hope for the best. So here, in no particular order, are

FIVE THINGS OF WHICH JUNEBUGG IS SUSPICIOUS:

• Anytime someone is extra sweet to me for no reason, especially if they’re usually self-centered (several of you reading this know who you are). My skeptical mind figures (from past experience) that either they want something, have done something nasty, or are planning to do something bad in the near future and are attempting to store up good conduct credits in advance
• People who try to forcibly “convert” me to their way of thinking. Whether it’s religion, lifestyle, what foods to eat, clothes to wear or anything else you care to name, I’m not in the mood to be brainwashed into thinking/living/believing like you. I’m a grown person and have a reasonable, logical mind with an above average IQ that I’ve been using for over 52 years. I’ve attended and graduated Analytical Trouble Shooting classes, Problem Solving seminars, Leadership Skills training, and tons of other “how to decide shit” classes. Talk to me if you want but don’t yell, belittle me or condemn me to hell. I’m a stubborn old bitch with the temperament of a mule; the harder you push the more I’ll refuse to listen to you.
• Car salesmen and mechanics; enough said. They see a female with her checkbook in her hand and think “Sucker!”
• Men who take longer primping than I do.
• Things that go “bump” in the night. I live out in the country and it’s dark out there. You city folks worry about muggers and thieves. We’ve got werewolves, cattywampuses (Alabama for wampus cats), vampires and haints running around just waiting for someone to jump on here in the boonies. Warning: I sleep with a shotgun AND a rifle next to my bed and I tend to wake up in a very bad mood.

WOMAN OF A CERTAIN AGE

2007-11-15T19:11:00.000-06:00

Friday I'll be the ripe old age of 52. I consider myself to be in the midst of middle age, so imagine my surprise when I found this while digging around on the web:

The phrase was popularized in a 1979 book by the psychotherapist Lillian B. Rubin, "Women of a Certain Age: The Midlife Search for Self," in which midlife spanned 35 to 54. Reached in San Francisco, Dr. Rubin, whose book indicates she is now in her early 70's, was surprised to learn of the long English history of the phase because "it has a long history in French (femmes d'une certaine age), where it refers to women of fortyish and thereabouts who are able to initiate boys and young men into the beauties of sexual encounters. The early use in English seems to be about spinsterhood, but the French meaning has nothing to do with marriage." In French, the phrase has erotically or sexually charged overtones. "It comes from a society where sexuality is freer," Dr. Rubin notes, "and more understood as an important part of human life."

It's nice to know that at least in certain parts of the world that a woman isn't past her sexual prime. Here in America if you're not a young 20 something, lean and have a figure like a boy with boobs you're considered over the hill. Poo on that! We over 50 women have a lot of life left in us: we're vivacious, sexually active (even with all our lumps, bumps, wrinkles, sagging boobs, dragging butts and love handles), got jobs and money of our own and now we Baby Boomers are outnumbering all the other age groups. So look out world, it's our time to shine!

I've never lied about my age and I'm not starting now. 52 and proud of it Y'all! Hell, being over 50 damned sure beats the alternative! Who knows, I might even go out and find me a trophy guy. If the men can do it why can't we women? Or as the French would say, "Vive La femmes d'une certaine age"

Cowboy Crosses Country on Horseback to Reveal Unseen American Culture

2007-11-13T00:03:00.000-06:00

Now this man has my respect! Go and read the entire story.

Weary of the daily drumbeat over war, crime, poverty and assorted social ills, he and his wife are burning through their life savings to tell the stories of hardworking, honest everyday people in rural America. Inman soaks it all in atop Blackie, a 16-year thoroughbred-quarter horse mix who's averaging 20-25
miles a day along backroads from Oregon to North Carolina.

UNREAL BEAUTY-UNTRUTH IN AVERTISING

2007-11-12T21:48:00.000-06:00

I found this post over at The Curvy Counselor and just has to share it.

Wanna look like the models you see on billboards? Well... it may not be humanly possible. Have you seen this video clip from Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty? Called Evolution, it’s a powerful illustration of the process of manufacturing beauty.
Take a moment to see the clip for yourself. And please let me know what you think

After watching the video I can see why it's no damn wonder women are so depressed when we compare ourselves to the altered images in ads marketing techs use in order to sell their products to us.

ADVISE FROM MY FRIENDS

2007-11-09T23:00:00.000-06:00

THE WOMEN:

“It’s about time you dumped the guy. We missed ya.”

“You didn’t cry when you kicked that loser to the curb, did ya? Cause men’s egos always make ‘em think that you’re bawling over losing them when you’re actually crying over the thought of getting nekked in front of a brand new feller and wondering if he’s noticing your wobbly bits.”

“The way to get over a man is another man. It’s like when you get thrown by a horse, you gotta get right back on or you’ll be scarred for life. And it’s gotta be just for fun, you don’t want someone to fall in love with, just a nice warm body to rock your world one time and one time only. I recommend that you don’t give him your number and you can even lie about your name if you want.”

“Speaking of new studs, here ya go: from me to you” (waving a gaily ribbon wrapped, large economy sized box of condoms with “RIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE” in bold print on the front for the whole restaurant to see). “Remember, no love without a glove. If the man wants to play, he has to dress for the party!”

“Naw, what she needs is a new BOB” (battery operated boyfriend). “No muss, no fuss, always ready when you are and won’t bother you when you’re tired. Plus it don’t care about love handles, saggy boobs, or a big ass; and it doesn’t eat your groceries or cheat on ya.”

“The old man has a friend….he ain’t nothing pretty, got a pot belly and a bald spot but he’s sweet and he’s got a brand new Harley that’s FINE.”

THE MEN:

“If you ever decide to fool around with a married man be sure I’m the first to know”

“Hell, you got a good job, money, land, and your own house: you’ll have to beat the men off with a stick.”

“I’ll volunteer to be your ‘friend with benefits’. Just call when ever you get an itch and I’ll scratch it for ya, baby!”

GOT ONE RIGHT

2007-11-06T11:08:00.000-06:00

At last, a horoscope that rings true!

Scorpio
Junebugg,
You will know that thoughts of passion are now deflated by the illusions a partner had about you. The tension between true and false is uncomfortably apparent. Look to move on rather than change who you are to fit someone else's desires.

ALONE AND LOVING IT

2007-11-03T21:07:00.000-05:00

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt love; I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone, even when I was married. I care more about some people than others but I’m self-centered. Can’t help it, I’ve always been that way. I’m not sure I even love my parents; I feel obligated to them for all they’ve done for me, especially after the way they’ve taken care of me after my wreck and all. Hell, I don’t even know what love feels like. But I do like you, I feel comfortable around you, I like your company. I just don’t have strong emotions of any kind. But I’m not gonna be alone, I’ll always have some female to keep me company if you’re not interested.”

Isn’t the lack of any kind of emotion the description of a serial killer?

This is the excuse I got the next day; after Ex-Sweet Thang called, told me he’d be over soon and then didn’t show up, didn’t call, didn’t answer his cell. AGAIN. It’s the same way he disappeared for months twice before in the last 4 years: breaking up by disappearing until he got lonely; until he found out that the younger prettier thinner women weren’t interested in a self-centered overweight 47 year old blue collar worker. Then it's time to call Junebugg again: the doormat, the one who spoils her men, the one who always seems to be around until something better comes around.

And what am I, a holey pair of jeans that you put on when you don’t care what you look like, when all the nicer jeans aren’t available?

Fuck that!

So I’m now foot loose and fancy free. No more sitting at home waiting on someone who may or may not show up or call or even just think of me once in a while. No more putting my life on hold until someone else feels like doing something.

I want passion in my life! I want feelings: love, anger, sex, hate. I want to feel alive, and if I’m with someone I want them to do more than feel “comfortable”. I realize that I'm out of shape and over 50 (of the 57 million American women 45 and up, nearly half—25 million—are unmarried, outnumbering entire populations of countries such as North Korea, Taiwan, and Australia) and that demand for women of my age aren't in high demand. I don't care, being alone is the way that I've spent most of my life.

I do believe it’s time for a girls night out.

IN THE MOOD

2007-10-31T19:00:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween Y'all! I'm trying to get in the mood so I found I found these lovely dark abodes at Fritemares, the official homepage of author, film maker, and photographer, J. W. James. Go visit, he has some online stories to put a shiver down your back.

I'll have to work on Halloween, darn it. I missed the Blood and Roses Vampire Rave last night (although I've had reports they had "a bloody good time") and now I won't get to wear my witchy/bitchy black velvet dress for All Hallows Eve. Last year we went to Tennessee for the haunted house from hell and then had a few drinks in the local Applebee's where our costumes got lots of attention. But that was last year, this year ain't looking too good.

I never get to have any fun, it's just not fair! I wanta get out and do a little tricking and a lot of treating myself. Being a responsible adult ain't no fun! I'm looking forward to my second childhood when I'll be old enough to know better and young enough at do it anyway!

Anywho, Boo Y'all. Lets get in the mood and go bob for apples, drink strange mixed drinks and stagger around in the dark. Anyone wanta come play with me?

NEVER TOO LATE

2007-10-30T20:55:00.000-05:00

Wednesday night Sweet Thang’s parents hosted a dinner and I was fascinated watching his elderly aunt and her new husband.

It’s not often that you see an older couple showing public displays of affection like these two. As they sat side by side telling the story of how they met, lost each other and rediscovered love in their twilight years his age spotted hand caressed her leg. Even though she was beyond plump, he was thin with major hearing loss, and both were white-headed, their love showed in every action. Every time they glanced at each other you could see a twinkle in their eyes. At a remark about them still “honeymooning” both oldsters started giggling like a couple of teenagers. These two couldn’t seem to keep their hands off of each other and you never saw one of them unless the other was only a few feet away. Not bad for a couple in their 70s.

I don’t remember the complete romance story but it goes something like this (any errors are due to my bad memory):

He was her first date when she was 14. They got more and more infatuated with each other but then he went away to fight in the war. After being discharged he had problems settling down (as he put it, back then no one had ever heard of “battle fatigue” so the VA didn’t offer any medical help).

Both married and raised families. Then in their golden years, each of them widowed and at an age when society expects you to be asexual, unattractive to the opposite sex, dateless, old and alone {much less fall in love and marry} they rediscovered each other and tied the knot.

Just goes to show, it’s never too late for love. Sounds like a good story line for the Lifetime Movie Channel, doesn’t it?

Kiss My Grits

2007-10-26T08:43:00.000-05:00

Turn the speakers up and listen close to the lyrics!

REUNION

2007-10-23T00:47:00.000-05:00

Family reunions; that quintessential mixture of love, laughter and loss. Relatives hold forth with the same verbal sparring that they’ve mastered over the years, but now there’s more gray heads than sparkling eyes in the mix. Hugs encompass the shoulders of loved ones present and accounted for, making the black hole of deceased family members all the more obvious and heartbreaking. Oldsters catch-up with each other while youngsters ask “Who are you?” “Whose your Mom/Dad?” before adjourning outside to toss a football as if they’ve known each other forever. Old memories are shared and new ones made as long lost kin reminisce and new babies are introduced to strangers whose genes they share.

Saturday was the first reunion in years of The Curnutt Clan, my Mom’s family. It was hosted by my Cousin Danny at CR Mechanical (his company) in Tanner, with Danny furnishing hotdogs and hamburgers and the rest of the relatives bringing covered dishes. Of course there was an overabundance of food; 2 tables groaned beneath the weight of casseroles and desserts of every kind (ain’t it always that way at reunions!) All the cooks urged everyone to “Try some of this, I brought it!” as paper plates were filled to overflowing and frost-bitten hands dug into coolers searching for the beverage of choice. Several cameras snapped at odd times, capturing candid photos of bulging cheeks and wide open mouths with food being shoveled in for all prosperity. I can see my grandson years from now asking “Who’s the old man with half a hotdog hanging out of his mouth?”

One of my cousins walked by, patted me on the tummy and asked “Getting kinda fat, aren’t ya?” Later I told my sister Donna that our sisters and kids were the biggest bunch at the reunion (meaning there were more of us) and she replied “Yeah, in more ways than one” and it’s true. Most of Mom’s relatives are on the slender side while we Waters Women take after our Dad’s family (a much sturdier stock). Kinda funny when you consider the fact that my Grandmother Curnutt was known to all as “Big Mother”.

The reunion was held just down the road from the old Curnutt home which had been condemned and is being torn down. Of course everyone had to go look and recall stories about our growing up in and around the ancient two story house. When we were kids it seemed gigantic, but as adults it’s hard figure out how the heck they got so much furniture in the tiny rooms. Donna got several hand-made cinder bricks from the old fireplace as mementoes, but I prefer my memories to solid objects which will only catch dust. You can take memories out and play with them whenever you want and they don’t take up space in my already cluttered life.

After all, aren’t good memories kept bright and shiny from constant use the best tribute that you can give a loved one, whither they’re alive or deceased? To all my family, I love y’all and I’m proud to be a part of the clan. I hope you feel the same way about me.

A special thanks to Cousin Danny for the use of his time and business place. Love Ya.

PS: The computer censer at work has blocked this website and any other with the term "blogspot" in the address, so I don't have as much time to visit my blogbuddies. Sorry for not getting around to everyone as much as usual

MY SO CALLED LIFE

2007-10-18T21:45:00.000-05:00

I don’t know what’s been wrong with my blogging lately. Something interesting or out of the ordinary will happen and I’ll think “Wow, that’ll make a good blog entry” and start composing a post in my head, but when I finally get time to sit down at the ‘puter my pea sized intellect goes totally blank. Maybe it’s the much ballyhooed “writer’s block” (although I don’t consider myself much of a writer) or old-timer’s disease, could be I’m just in a rut; but I apologize for the lack of recent posts. I would promise to do better but I’ve already done so and then reneged.

Today I went on a small shopping spree; got a several of those retro Jackie-O style jackets with bracelet length sleeves (one a black and white houndstooth, one dark gray and last but not least a brown tweed; I'm trying to match the stuff already in my closet) and a pair of elbow length gloves. I may be too "long in the tooth" for fashion but what the hell; I figure at the ripe old age of almost 52 (as of next month) I can wear what I want.

I’ve also been trying to do a little closet purging before I drag out the cold weather stuff. Why is it that you always find things with the tags still on that you’ve never worn or even forgot that you bought? I wear jeans and casual tops to work (one of the downfalls of a blue collar job) so most of the nice clothing that I lust after sits in the closet waiting for that proper occasion that never comes up. I guess I’ll have to start dressing up to go to Wal-Mart or the grocery store. It’s not like I have a lot of events to attend, what with my work schedule I’m lucky to get dinner and a movie and my “girls night outs” have been few and far between.

My buddy Karen is side-lined with 3 broken ribs. Her husband and son were sitting up scaffolding to paint their 2 story home while she was mixing paint and one of the scaffolds fell on her back, pinning her to the ground on top of a fire ant bed until someone heard her yelling and came to her rescue. So she’s house bound for a couple of months per the Dr. and in a lot of pain. She’s so hyper that I can’t imagine her being down that long, so we’ll see how well she obeys orders. Until she’s back on her feet we do a lot of phone tag and I try to keep her in reading material. She doesn’t care much for books so I drop off magazines and gossip rags for her to read at her leisure. Wish I could more but I’m not sure what that would be.

Sweet Thang is back at work until next month when they plan surgery to remove the biggest bolt that runs from the outside of his hip through the pelvic bone into his lower spine (he claims that he can feel it every time he sits down. Nothing worse that a bolt in the butt!). His Dr. says that Sweet Thang will be back at work in a couple of weeks so I hope that maybe it won't be long till he’ll be able to start living a more active life. Our social life has consisted of watching TV together and I’m ready to get out of the house and enjoy some of this glorious fall weather.

OK, that’s all that’s happening in my life lately. And how have y’all been doing?

DNA

2007-10-17T00:06:00.000-05:00

~~Stolen~~ borrowed from Bitchitude.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

THINK PINK

2007-10-03T02:02:00.000-05:00

October is National Breast Cancer Month. I'm sure we all know someone who is suffering from or has survived this terrible disease. As you can see on the image on the left, breast cancer affects men as well as women so we're all at risk.

"Breast cancer may be one of the oldest known forms of cancer tumors in humans. The oldest description of cancer ....... discovered in Egypt and dates back to approximately 1600 BC." ....... In the United States, breast cancer is the third most common cause of cancer death (after lung cancer and colon cancer). In 2007, breast cancer is expected to cause 40,910 deaths (7% of cancer deaths; almost 2% of all deaths) in the U.S.{from "breast cancer" in Wikipedia}.

So go to a rally, enter a race or fundraiser,put a pink ribbon on your car or person and for goodness sakes check your boobs for lumps and bumps and such {if you need instructions for a self-check, here they are).

Even more fun, get someone else to massage your titties for you! At the least it could lead to a little lovin' and at the worse you might catch the "Big C" before it gets too far along to correct.

REDNECK WEDDING

2007-09-30T21:46:00.000-05:00

After all these weeks I've finally gotten around to developing the pictures I took at my nephew's Redneck Wedding. It's a bitch when real life interferes with the pleasures of life but I gotta work to eat, so what's a girl to do.

I have to admit that this was the best wedding that I've ever been to. It was outdoors, they served pintos and cornbread at the reception, the bride's relatives provided live entertainment and everything came off without a hitch (bad pun; hitch, getting hitched. Oh well, you get it).

My sister Teresa (mother of the groom), 3rd of us 5 girls, and her husband Randy.
Both the groom and groom's man wore high top Converse sneakers.
Whispering sweet nothings
Told you it was redneck! Brock, the groom's man.
Paul and Erica, the happy couple

The bride and bride's maid buck dancing at the reception.

I wish Paul and Erica all the happiness in the world. If their mariage goes half as well as the wedding did they'll be an old couple holding hands while they watch their grandchildren play. We should all be so lucky.......

REAL WOMEN

2007-09-16T21:45:00.000-05:00

This is a post from last year that is near and dear to my heart considering that I have always had an "hourglass figure" and now that I'm over 50 I seem to have more "sand" than ever! Let's hear it for us "real women"!

Auguste Renoir once said "There is enough ugliness in the world -- why should we paint ugly pictures?" So, this young lady, the subject of Seated Bather (1883-1884) certainly wasn't what he considered ugly! She fits the lush, rounded style of Renoir's era.

It seems I was born too late, dang it.

Gustave Klimt is considered one of the foremost definers of the Art Nouveau movement, which emphasised use of sensuous curving lines and forms. There is nothing "supermodel-like" about his Danae (1907). Her thigh is much more familiar to most of us than the thin, tubelike thighs that are considered attractive now

This painting by Pablo Picasso (one of my favorite artists) always makes me smile, just for the sheer joy and fun of it! Bet you thought that Picasso only painted what looked like bits of people all stuck together the wrong way? That was only one of his artistic periods.

Though the perspective and proportions are deliberately skewed, and this is not an attempt at realism, these women are definitely of "heroic" proportions. Don't they look happy? Who says you have to have ribs sticking out to be joyous and attractive? Why wait until you lose weight before you start doing all the things you want to do?

Here are some statistics for you:
*Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women
*The average fashion model is 5'9" to 6' tall, weighs 110 - 118 lbs and is seventeen to twenty-six years old & wears a size 6 - 8 dress.
*The average American woman is 5'5" tall, weighs 142 lbs, and is 44 years old.
*Forty percent of women wear a size 14 or above...
*Sales of plus-size clothes in 1996 were more than $20 billion...
*Plus size sales rose to $47 billion in 2005.
*Lillian Russell, the leading sex symbol at the end of the 19th century, weighed over 200 pounds.
*Marilyn Monroe would be considered "overweight" by today's standards. She fluctuated between a size 14 and size 18 dress

I'M STILL HERE.......

2007-09-16T04:17:00.000-05:00

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of family related activities. The wedding of my nephew to the great-niece of one of my nearest and dearest friends (which I guess makes us in-laws or outlaws or something along those lines). The funeral of my semi-adopted son’s paternal grandmother. My grandson’s 8th birthday and Sweet Thang’s first day back to work after his traumatic motorcycle accident last April. Working 12 hour shifts on a10 day shutdown at work myself. And on and on and so forth; the responsibilities of real life sometimes leave little time for the things we love to do.

In other words, I haven’t posted because I’ve barely had time to sleep or do laundry or any of other mundane chores that we all have to do on a daily basis, much less try to come up with something witty or entertaining to put out on the web. Not to say that I’m ever witty or entertaining, but you get my meaning.

Perhaps fall’s cooler weather and slower pace will bring about a new scattering of posts along with the fallen leaves that are starting to cover my much neglected lawn. I hope that y’all will bear with me and I promise that I’ll get around to visiting your sites just as soon as I catch my breath.The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of family related activities. The wedding of my nephew to the great-niece of one of my nearest and dearest friends (which I guess makes us in-laws or outlaws or something along those lines). The funeral of my semi-adopted son’s paternal grandmother. My grandson’s 8th birthday and Sweet Thang’s first day back to work after his traumatic motorcycle accident last April. Working 12 hour shifts on a10 day shutdown at work myself. And on and on and so forth; the responsibilities of real life sometimes leave little time for the things we love to do.

In other words, I haven’t posted because I’ve barely had time to sleep or do laundry or any of other mundane chores that we all have to do on a daily basis, much less try to come up with something witty or entertaining to put out on the web. Not to say that I’m ever witty or entertaining, but you get my meaning.

Perhaps fall’s cooler weather and slower pace will bring about a new scattering of posts along with the fallen leaves that are starting to cover my much neglected lawn. I hope that y’all will bear with me and I promise that I’ll get around to visiting your sites just as soon as I catch my breath.